Watching: Finding Neverland

Yes yes, I know. It's a little too late to watch this movie starred by Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet. But I finally watch Finding Neverland and was trully amazed with it. I liked the messages and actually in real, I am all to believe that anything, ANYTHING, exists when you believe it exists.

Since I've been drown in my own worries about the (possible) change of jobs the end of this month, the movie helps me realise that the right answer may never come when you block your clear minds with worries. It hasn't worked that well so far for me to decide what I should do in the next chapter of my career life.. but it's tickled the back of my mind that I should be calmer (I do appear calm, I believe, but not really when I'm alone) when thinking about this.

Hope I'll find the best decision for me and for all. But any moral support? Should I stay or should I move?

Anyway... I've resized some pictures I made with Ernie. We experimented with some hair rolls we just bought. Though it was quite an effort, I think I looked good with curly hair. Hehe...

Our last session in Tegal.
Here you go.

1:42 pm

mood: sleepy
reading: how to draw manga
watching: the simpsons

---

An ad I read in Jakarta Post today:

FRIENDSHIP
MODEL BULE HANDSOME, 35, live in Bali w/ a job. Looking for pretty and rich woman. Please contact 081******** or email e******@hotmail.com

What the...

Some people do get desperate sometimes, I guess. I mean I already get used to personal ads.. or some MASSAGE companies that claim to serve for health, but in reality they're all just a sex business. But this one sounds a bit different, don't you think?

I understand that people want companions. Some can't really get them cause of their own lackness, say appearance. But reading the ad, don't you think he sounds perfect? A male model, with a job in Bali. What makes him hard to get the woman he wants? In a place like Bali where everything is so much freer than any other parts in Indonesia, with flocks of various women all over the world, and with a (should be) handsome appearance he's got, why placing the ad in a newspaper?

And what's the point of the "rich" woman part? Men looking rich women sound like a gigolo to me. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the profession. It's just so weird. Or I'm just being too Indonesian. Hehehe..

:P

12:17 am

mood: annoyed
listening to: chris brown - run it

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I've lost my voice since yesterday! I actually already got the signs earlier this week or even last week when I had the severe flu. But I never thought I would eventually lost my voice because of the non-stop cough I've had.

The cough itself has always attacked me like once a year since I was still a little kid. I could cough on and on and hurt my throat and tears would run down my cheeks. The only medication that will sort of help is just drink a lot of water. ASAP.

Well the influenza I had 2 weeks ago seemed to worsen things. This is probably my first time worst cough ever that leads to destroying my voice.

I hate it cause:

1. I can't sing!
2. I have to write the instructions to my students, instead of speaking to them, which I am supposed to do!
3. Everyone mocks me.
4. I can't receive any phone call (my aunt Joyce from Holland called me yesterday and I had to ask her to call me back again when my voice was better. And I had to say that with so much struggle!)
5. I had to do this ridiculous chat with Ernie last night with her speaking (so easily) and me typing over the things I wanted to say on my computer!

I've never really realised that we are blessed to speak... until now. Gosh.

Nevertheless, this condition opens my eyes when knowing that there are indeed some good people here.
I went to the market in the morning before I lost my voice completely.. and even then I didn't really want to bargain anything I was buying.

Me: How much are these tomatoes?
Seller: Rp 4000 a kilo.
Me: (choosing tomatoes) half a kilo then.
Seller: (looking at me with an amazement) Errr... you can have it for Rp 1,500 then. Me: Oh thanks..

The same thing happened with the other 4 sellers. They changed the price to a lower one when I didn't try to bargain it. It is not considered normal that customers just accept the price right away as much as the sellers offered. But to me it is not normal either that the sellers at the market lower their price to a normal one.

It's good to know that there are some honest people here. :)

Duh. But I want my voice BACK!!!

3:47 pm

mood: weak
listening to: thievery corporation
reading: jakarta post
watching: scary movie 4

There have been some things that are quite bothering my mind lately. One of them is Indonesian people's low awareness on the importance of CONDOM!

First of all, let's get one thing straight: we are NOT going to debate over the old it's-not-right-to-do-a-premarital-sex issue, ok! Cause it's not the main point of this post.
I am stating it beforehand then that I do not mind that people choose or not choose to do the act, for we're all grown-ups and every decision we take is wholly ours and only ours to make.

One thing to regret, however, is our habit to underestimate the after effect of the sex.

One case of one of my close girl friends is having right now is an unwanted pregnancy. So she did it, with a guy she doesn't love, and now she has to face this fact that she's having a child, probably not bigger than a pea now, and marriage is not really an option cause that guy has obviously stated that he will not marry her for the child, and she doesn't think she wants to give birth to the child without a marriage (old school, but we do live in an old school country :P), but in the other hand she's afraid of God and of the after effect of the abortion.

When I asked her why she didn't use a protection, she reasoned that it was not comfortable to use one, especially for that guy.

Now peeps (girls, especially), listen. Seriously... using a condom is the BEST alternative for the time being to PROTECT yourself from things like this. What's the point of having a short satisfaction and pleasure with a HUGE problem waiting afterwards? Of course, nothing is guaranteed to be 100% safe, but at least you can worry less? We still live in a hypocrite country where we have to obey a lot of social rules. Even if you have this modern conception of free sex, you studied biology at school! And there are tons of sexology talks and fusses on the paper to read. I'm sure you also know all the consequences of having a non-safe sex!

I may as well trust that you DO indeed realise that condoms can protect you from diseases. Getting pregnant is one thing, but this one is another thing. Some of the STDs cases can be cured easily, some need a while to cure, and some canNOT be cured at all. You know that condoms can help prevent that, don't you?

So please.. please.. when you see a cute guy walking on the street and you're intrigued to "try" him, ALWAYS have a condom ready somewhere in your bag or purse. If none's available, just make time to buy it. It's sold everywhere. If he refuses to use that, just kick him out of the room and tell him you don't need him to please you. There are still thousands of other guys who would want to do it safely, really.

Just remember this: LOVE YOURSELF. Condoms can be a great solution for one-night-stands and other contraceptions are the alternate solutions to a nicer sexual experience if (IF) you have found this permanent partner/boyfriend and you trust him for not carrying any disease with him.

Do I sound reasonable enough?

10:37 pm

Listening to: Ratu.

---

I found another fault from my new room. After weeks being unsatisfied with its small size and PURPLE wall colour (not my choice, seriously!), last night I got soo annoyed to find out that the roof above my bed was leaking!

I spent the evening with Ernie watching a DVD in her room. It was raining hard and I wasn't

really aware how my room was. I was there for a couple of hours. Pam called and shared her cool experience in Bali (she's got the job at IALF, that lucky bitch). When we were finally done socializing, I went back to my room, sleepily, and got ready for my sweet beddy time. I was laying for 5 minutes probably when I felt some sprays of water on my face. I jerked surprisedly and wondered how it could happen. The air conditioner is right above my bed so I stood up and had my hands face the AC. I felt the water coming out with some cool air it produced and I was like... OK, maybe the wind blew to my room's direction. I turned the AC off then, for it was not too hot anyway. Then I went back laying.

I was disappointed to find that the water still showered my face and upper body. This time I pissed and stood up to check again. I saw that it came through the relatively wide AC hole AND from roof of my room, just above my bed, and just above where my pillow was! I had my Thai sunset picture hung below the AC and when I saw that the water was coming down to it, I took it from the wall and put it on the floor to save it. I almost wanted to go to Ernie's room and sleep there, but I was too tired to even make the effort, so I just slept on the opposite direction (feet side) and covered my feet (on head's side) with my blanket.

It was reported already to the head of the staff and the head of the teachers already... I think I'll just wait for their quick response to have it fixed, then. Who ever wants to sleep in a leaking room in this heavy rainy season? :PIf there's no action taken, then I'll make up my mind to move to Bali in June. Though actually without it, I won't stay anyway. Hoho..

1:53 pm

Listening to: Sade.
Watching: Requiem.

---

Meet Grubbie, my fish. I've been taking care of him for a month now. I bought him with three other fish last month, but apparently only he survived. The first black fish didn't even live more than 24 hours since I bought it. That was because at that time I hadn't bought the fish tank for them. I put two of them in a tall glass and the other two in a bucket. The accident happened when I left my room for cooking for an hour or so. This fish seemed to get stressed out in the small tall glass so it jumped out of it. I found it too late, and there it was, laying on the floor dead.

Three left. I finally bought a fish bowl. I put those three there and for some reasons they survived for three weeks. Everyone had told me that I should buy the air pump for goldfish can't live long without it. But I insisted that they could survive without, as long as I changed the water often.
Until one day, I left my (new) room for work.. Aris, one of the staff, had been complaining that our boss questioned about the raise of the electricity bill at EF (again, with more members, more bills, right? Business people couldn't seem to comprehend that!). Well I often leave my room with aircon on, not intended, but I just forgot. Well that day, I did NOT forget to turn off the AC. This new room I've got is on the top floor with Mba Minda's and Ernie's room. It receives the most sunlight so it was completely hot without aircon. Plus, the smell of the paint was so strong I couldn't even sleep for the first two days I moved there. Anyway, my dear fish were left without aircon in that new room. So guess what I'd found in the evening after working. Two of them died!

I was quite stressed out. Two, not one, fish were dead! This was the first time for me to take care of fish. I always know how to have petdogs, but never fish! I guess I had that feeling that they'd eventually die one day, for back then I didn't bother to name them. I only callled them A, B and C. Now that one left, I rushed to the fish market and bought the smallest air pump (cause the fish tank is small, too) for this orange fish to survive. He does, until now. And I named him Grubbie, taken from the flash game I played on computer called Insaniquarium.

I have now somewhat an emotional bound with Grubbie for:

1. He's the only one left.
2. He sees me do everything everyday, including changing clothes (that's very intimate, huh?).
3. He seems to try to communicate with me, especially when he is hungry.
4. I'm bored.

4:01 pm

Ladies and gentlemen.....

EF Tegal's crew. :)

7:16 pm