Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Time flew by. The day Jun and Ron had waited had finally come and it was nothing but a huge success! It was one of the most wonderful weddings I have ever attended; partly thanks to the Chinese fun wedding traditions and the hillarious salsa-minded invitees!

It was a small wedding by Chinese Indonesian standard, only 150 guests. But it was beautiful and touching. Most of all, I was so happy to be there, next to my best friend as her maid of honour, witnessing the happiest time of her life.

I wish you a happy marriage life, my Jun. I am positive Ron will take a good care of you until you grow wrinkles together.

2:09 pm


What is it with my friends lately? They are all getting married within one month and all having us wear pink dresses. Pink must be the new black!

We had an awesome bachelorette party for my friend, Eleonore, a few weeks back. The dress code was pink. So a lot of us had to go shopping beforehand for pink dresses! Here was what I picked for that party.
A photo posted by Carla Chanliau (@cbardian) on
I will be the maid of honour at my BFF's wedding this coming Saturday. She had her sister send me this hot pink fabric. I got the design consulted with Jun a few weeks before. She said her husband-to-be's family is rather conservative so nothing transparent or open. So I sent it to my tailor and here goes the result:
And then few days ago I saw the other bridesmaid's dress and it was pretty open. Hahahaha...

8:33 am
Day 68 of 365 grateful days project:

"I'm grateful to have Annerie staying over for a night with her friend, Laura."

It's time for a girl's day (and night) again!!! Annerie pays a visit today bringing over Laura, one of her close friends to the south. They're staying the night at my place today and leaving tomorrow back to Candidasa. With the sad windy, rainy, stormy weather the past three days, I thought it would be nice to be surrounded with nice people (Annerie, Laura and my sister Ita).

So we dined, we shopped (this one allocated waaaaay much more than the other activities), we gossiped, we karaoked (can never escape from this as long as you're with Annerie) and we drank champagne! Yes, Annerie brought a bottle of champagne and the three of us (my sister not joining) toasted for 3 different celebrations - based on what each of us was grateful of at the moment. Swell!

As if Mother Earth knew that these girls wanted to go out too, she stopped the rain and the scary wind and brought a bit of sun back to us. The view at our parking place was so gorgeous today I just had to stop and photographed it.


It's a beautiful day.
11:05 pm
Day 37 of 365 Grateful Days Project:

"I'm grateful to have guests in the house at the time I'm down. They give me a reason not to bury myself with excessive sadness."

The truth is I only enjoy having guests at my place only very occasionally. Last year there were so many guests coming that I felt that my privacy was intruded very, very extensively. I had no time for myself, I couldn't be free in my own house, I couldn't concentrate 100% at work (which is at home, by the way) since the guests would demand attention every now and then, and I also think it was one of the many reasons why Vincent and I grew apart at that time.

But this time is different. Yes, I pulled myself away from everyone when I heard the terrible news about Zwartje, I didn't get out for dinner or simply socialise with the guests, I stopped worrying about what my client would think about the web designs I proposed to them that day, and I just sank my face in the pillow and wet it all over. The next morning I was still shaking and couldn't exactly face people. But a call from my mother changed it a little.

One of my biggest worries was my mum. Zwartje was her real best friend. He was the closest she could ever get with anyone after my father died in 1997. I was wondering how it could sadden her when it already saddened me as such. Yes, she sounded very sad on the phone. But she also sounded as if she accepted the fact. She actually sounded grateful that she had had Zwartje for all this time - instead of sounding miserable how she could go on with life without him. It calmed me down in a way.

Then when the guests - a couple one of who is related to Vincent - came back from their surfing activity, I managed to sit down with them for hours on the couch. As usual, I always feel the need to entertain guests because really that's the way it should be. If you dare to host, you should be ready to entertain. Anyway, it was uneasy at first because I had such a mixed mood. But after half an hour I managed to gather myself and I could even pop a smile. I was surprised with my own discovery, but pleased anyway. By the end of the evening, I felt much better (perhaps also because of the delicious nasi padang we ate for dinner).

I am blessed. Even during my darkest time.
10:47 am
Day 29 of 365 grateful days project:

"I'm grateful for the nice dinner in Ubud."

Yes, that's rather far to have merely dinner. But it was still a good change from the usual dinner at home or dinner around Seminyak area.

Vincent and I left home at about 6 and we met with his other friends and got in the same car to Ubud. Of course they had to stop at Circle K and buy chips and beers; beers to be drunk along the way. :P I don't understand why people like drinking beer in a car. Vincent doesn't understand why people like drinking beer at all. But they can do what they want. :)

We arrived in Ubud about 1.5 hours later, at Marie's house. She prepared the most delicious guacamole (or perhaps she bought it) and I couldn't stop eating it! Well, that's also because it was already 8 o'clock and I didn't have lunch today and dinner won't happen until about 9 or 9.30. One thing I can never get used to when being with a group of Frenchs.

Then we went to Café des Artistes in downtown Ubud, which is said to be great on their grilled dishes. Eleonore wasn't happy since she was a vegetarian. Well, not a strict one, since she still ordered this meaty dish despite a small list of vegetarian foods. :P
Vegetarian Eleonore and her meaty dish
Sandrine with her baked cheese broccoli.
Nice ambience at Café des Artistes
Afterwards we went for drinks and dance around Ubud, which apparently was hard to find. First we went to this new Boom Boom place, which was not really happening, either perhaps because it was weekdays or it was just not that hip. And then we moved to a more crowded place near Boom Boom, whose name I can't remember. But it has this cozy and warm feeling inside the bar. So cozy and warm that I actually fell asleep despite the loud music!

However, it was a nice night. Yes, I wish I were smarter to wear warmer clothes instead of knee-length skirt. The weather has been very, very cool lately in Kerobokan; and even more in Ubud. But in a wrap, it was still a very good night.
7:48 am
Day 26 of 365 grateful days project:

"I'm grateful for a Sweet Girls Sunday Time."

Pam almost begged me to come to IALF Open Day, where she would participate in the Acehnese dance. She said that it would be at 3ish in the afternoon. I SMSed my sister and asked if she would join, and she said yes because she was curious to see how Pam danced.

Well I came a bit late... at 3.15 or something, and we missed the show. But then Pam performed earlier, too, so even if we came on time at 3 we would have still missed it. When we confronted Pam about it, she was happy we didn't see her performance. She said it was a total mess. Now we really wished we had seen it!

So, since the reason why we came wasn't there anymore, we were looking for some food stalls at the bazaar. But there was really.... hardly any food! How come a bazaar doesn't have food but roasted corns??? Most of the stalls sold clothes - and not very interesting ones, I must say - and fertilizers. :P Weird for an English course bazaar. So we went back just before the stage (the music was great) and I met with my old workmates and socialized for half an hour.
Ita in front of a wall with green palm prints.

From left to right: Some girl, Pam and Ita

This kid loves dangdut!
And the way she dances with the pole reminds me of a pro dancer.
So no food, not even coffee, we are leaving. I took my sister to the nearest Dunkin Donut near Simpang Enam, and had a great coffee rendezvous there. Pam joined us an hour later and conversations got even funnier.
Hot cappuccino and chocolate filling donut for me

I bought half a dozen donuts for Vincent who is waiting at home. :)
3:14 pm
Day 25 of 365 grateful days project:

"I'm grateful for a busy Saturday like this."

I know that most people want relaxing Saturday after working 9 to 5 from Monday to Friday. But I like a busy weekend, on Saturday and Sunday. This Saturday, however, I am not busy working on projects. I'm busy with my personal life.

Vincent and I almost always have a badminton exercise every Saturday afternoon. Just before we go, I normally make some weekend snacks so that we have a little bit of energy before wasting it out at the court. Like the lumpia below.
But then, when we arrive home from badminton, I'm always too tired to prepare anything. So we would call Mc Donald's or Burger King for dinner, which actually nulls the whole running and jumping exercise during badminton with its super greasy food. :P Anyhoo, we still enjoy being pumped up from it.



Not long after I arrive from badminton, I get a message from Audrey inviting me to go out with her to see her friend's concert in Kuta tonight. When I told Vincent about it, he said, "It's funny because Jerome just invited me to play pool tonight." Cool! So I'll be having a girls night and him boys night.

I'm getting ready for Audrey to come pick me up at 8. Now you know why I love my busy weekends!
2:50 pm
Day 19 of 365 grateful days project:

"I'm grateful for the time spent with the IALF girls this afternoon."

Nupi suggested us to meet at Luthu Café in the afternoon. Her Chinese restaurant - called Fortune Cookie - just got a three star from a review from the trip advisor website - a disgrace for her excellent 5 star reviews before. In Sanur area, apparently this Luthu Café was the first in popularity so that's why she wanted to check it out.

I've been to Luthu Café before, and I liked it because of its coffee. I think the barista won a Capuccino designing competition in South East Asia (or something like that) and he always made me really cute stuff from the pouring milk. Like this one below.
The topic of the day was around cicak (English: house gecko). How Nupi hated it because she found a dead cicak in her honey jar once and ate the same honey without her knowledge that it was the same one where the cicak was drown in. Then I told them my experience with one when I accidentally drank the cicak's poop in my coffee.

It was great, as usual. We are four girls who think alike, though very, very, very different in personality. We threw jokes to each other and we LOVE gossiping about men. :) So here are the other girls.
Dian - very pregnant, due in a month
Nupi - very funky and tomboy, owner of Fortune Cookie, a nice Chinese Restaurant
Pam - you know her... one of the very weird people I know. :)
11:49 am
- One of the hardest things a man can do is to man up. -

My heart goes out for all girls who are being cheated on by their man who wouldn't even dare to show up to admit it, leave alone explaining it.
7:08 pm
Audrey

I did want to stop the hairdo right here.

Ingrid, looking sweet.

Moi

Bridesmaids

At the ceremony

After all the makeup got worn off.
11:23 am

Just a short blog about how Carol and Vincent's wedding went yesterday.

We started early in the morning as we had to have our make up done. Had fun with the other bridesmaids - Audrey and Ingrid - as Carol was juggling with the last minute stuffs. Vincent (Carol's Vincent) looked relaxed and happy.

The party was awesome though lacking sources of light. But it was touching as Vincent and Carol read their vows - a beautiful journey that ends in a beautiful marriage. I am very happy for both of them!!!

Oh it was also the first time I saw MY Vincent in a suit. He looked incredibly handsome. Too bad it was too humid that the suit had to go off not long after worn and the long sleeves were rolled up.

Anyway, after years of avoiding being in the row of single women who tried to catch the bride's bouquet, I didn't escape this time (it was my bestfriend's wedding, how could I?). I stood in the back and let the girls on the front after the bouquet. But of course they had to fail to catch it and it just simply fell on my hands... with no effort at all. Too bad... now Vincent has to marry me. LOL.
4:12 pm
As much as the Frenchs are so much fun when they want to speak English (or at least try), they are the most boring community when they don't. Unfortunately the latter is more likely to happen.

And I thought that the gatherings with Vincent's friends have been boring. But really... now that David left last week and Fred is leaving too next week, I imagine I won't be really looking forward to the future outings now. I can only think of Laurence who probably wants to speak to me - as in having a real conversation more than just "ça va? Oui, et toi?"

Vincent doesn't look very happy either with the fact that his two nicest friends are leaving.

Sucks.
2:45 pm
The period before and during the first days a woman gets her period every month is sometimes filled with negativity. I don't get that often but when I do, I get a real bad one.

I've been very upset with Mr Boyfriend. As other girls may have experienced, the period of the period makes us very emotional and every small thing appears big and life is just full of drama. But this has started even before that period of the period. Anyway, I'm not going to go into details of what our problems are - or may I say MY problem since he doesn't seem like he feels it but I just feel..... lonely. And worse, neglected. Again, I may not be necessarily intentionally neglected, but that is what I've felt. I guess I just did not expect that he was a real hardworking person who would be willing to spend the entire day and night at the office than be with me doing the boring stuff like watching TV. I guess I did not expect that his concept of having fun with friends always involved so much alcohol and empty conversations till dawn or worse, morning. Empty here goes only for me since all those convos were in French. I guess I was being too individualist for having fed up with being ignored (or not involving myself) in the conversations that were mostly in French at dinners with his bosses and workmates and so I pulled myself away from it, came to an empty and cold bed and left him grab his own fun until the morning came. Seriously, I didn't give a damn if it happened once in a while. But I am frustrated that it's starting to become a habit. And oh how much I hate being a dramatic nagger. But should I shut up and keep it to myself until I get crazy? No, I just had to blurt it out at the worst timing and ruined everything. Maybe not everything but I feel like shit.

At these times, I'd like to run to friends, or whoever that would listen, but I just realised that I had made myself exclusive in my circle of friends this past couple of years. Who do I want to share things with except Pam and Fabio? The others may have forgotten my name and deleted my number from their list for having been idle and not in touch for so long.

Of course there's family. But my only family here in Bali - my sister Ita - has her own problem and worries. And the fact that we don't live close to each other makes it even worse to have a nice communication. I'd like to call my mother, but the last time we were on the phone she was upset with me for not supporting her financially as regularly as I did before due to the instability of the early stage of my photography business.

Negativity.... negativity it is when a woman has her period. Plus fucking situational occurrences. Plus fucking thieves.

Yeah, one of my motorbike mirrors was stolen today when I parked it in front of Fabio's house.

Such a perfect day.
7:56 pm


HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!
7:54 am
To all my beloved friends.
6:14 pm
I'm not sure whether it is wise to be friends with your boss.

There are indeed a lot of positivity that can be gained to cheer up the working environment. Boss happy, employees happy; it means a maximum result. You can stretch yourself dedicating more for your job even when you don't need to.

But being friends means you have the liberty to say more of what is in your mind. And I always thought I knew the line. And I still stand to the belief that I didn't do anything wrong. I may have been a little bit outspoken (which I always have) but no bad intention was to follow my statements.

Too bad these statements have brought situations where it was unpleasant for him, and now me. And the talk comes back to boss-employee relationship again. Who pays and who is paid.

So are you friends with your boss?
8:48 am
Have you ever got to the point that you thought you were helpless and had no power at all about something?

I'm feeling that at the moment.

A friend, a family, a brother is very, very sick somewhere else but here in this world. He is alone with no friends and family around. Literally. He's all but positivity. He wants to go back here but he can't. He wishes he could turn back the time and fix things right, but it's impossible. No matter how many times I told him in multiple emails that he was not alone, that I was always here whenever he needed me, he couldn't stop thinking negative - as most of sick people do - and stayed thinking that nothing could be done anymore to make things better.

I'm not there to hug him. I'm not there physically to lift up his spirit and to encourage him that nothing is impossible. I'm not there in real to tell him that if he can't cheat death, he can still be friends with it and negotiate the length of time he can spend more in this world.

Friends, if you ever encounter this kind of thing in your life, don't stop trying. Every little thing you do matters. May be not for us, but for others who need it more.

It was his birthday a few days ago. He wrote me an email that he was so truly sad that he was sick and alone on that day. And it hurt me as I read it because it was not true. Because he's still got me.

So even though I am normally overtired when I have both work and French class in a day, at that time I was psyched. As soon as I got home, I took out my cake recipe book, prepared the ingredients for his favourite chocolate cake, and baked it.

I also made a small flag from a scrap paper and cotton bud stick and wrote on the paper "Happy Birthday, Brother."

Being satisfied with the cake and the flag, I took pictures of it in various angles, sent them to him that very night and put a little note in the email:

You're lucky this time you're wrong. You're not alone.

Being so weak even to check emails, he just sent me a reply last night saying that he couldn't stop crying even at the time he was writing the electronic mail. He was touched and happy and no longer felt that he was alone and pathetic and sick and sinful. I can't count how many phrases of terima kasih (thank you) that he wrote but I know that he knows now that he is not alone. That I'm here to help bear his pain, even for the smallest amount.

I may not be a super doctor that can cure him. I may not be rich enough to fly to him and reach him in my embrace. But I'm a friend to him as he is to me.

Baking a chocolate cake may not be a bombastic gesture. But it is more than enough gesture to get your message across to your loved one that he is loved.
6:27 am
I've attended 3 classes of French course at Alliance Francais Denpasar and I was already bragging to Vincent's friends, Pascal and Briggite, that I speak a little French.

Here is their reply:

Coucou
Félicitations, congratulations !!!! Super !!!
Moi de mon cote j ai arrête les cours d Anglais le prof n était pas top... Pas plus tard que hier( mercredi) nous avons encore parlé de vous car Samedi le 20:06:09 nous allons fête le 1st year de retour de Bali
Nous allons vous envoyer des photos du groupe
J espère que tout se passe bien chez vous, nous avons de temps en temps des nouvelles de Nicole et Andy les autres "Balinais" j espère que vous aussi vous avez des contacts
Vincent t as pas trop la nostalgie du pays .... lol chez nous c est triste on a de nouveau un été pourri un jour il fait chaud à étouffer et l autre jour on a 10° de moins enfin ...
Gros bisous à vous et une prochaine que ce soit à Bali ou en France
Pascal et Brigitte

Obviously that was way out of my range of my very limited French. So I opened this page on yahoo babelfish to translate the email. This is the result.

Cuckoo Congratulations, congratulations!!!! Super!!! Me of my dimension J have stops the courses D English teacher N was not signal… Not later that yesterday (Wednesday) we still spoke about you because Saturday the 20:06: 09 we go festival the 1st year of return of Bali We will send photographs of the group to you J hopes that all occurs well on your premise, we from time to time have news of Nicole and Andy the others " Balinais" J hopes that you also you have contacts Vincent T ace not too the nostalgia of the country…. lol on our premises C is sad one again has a summer rotted one day it makes hot choke and L different day one has 10° of less finally… Large kisses with you and next that it is in Bali or in France Pascal and Brigitte

Still lost in translation.

Anyone knows a better translation engine?
7:07 am
Even at the time I'm writing this piece, I still can't believe it happened. Not to someone with such a life force like you. Not when you already made great plans ahead. Not when it was so fast, unexpected and seemingly unfair.

But you left us anyway. I'm running out of tears but even so it's still coming out every now and then. Out of my disbelief.

We might not have had our plans come true. But we had the greatest moments together.
We might not be able to see you now. But we saw you in your best shape.
And we will never forget that.

We love you, Ricardo.

Carla and Vincent.
9:34 am
Life is so short.

After my friend Pierre Flaneur died at the age of 30 last year of a heart failure, I am not convinced that age determines our lifeline.

The fact that my good friend Ricardo Evers had a shocking bike accident 2-3 weeks ago and has depended his life on hospital machines ever since does not give me more confidence either.

As if it wasn't enough, someone whom I consider like my own brother just told me that he was dying. AIDS. He is now 33.

I'm feeling like crying. I'm feeling like laughing.

This is all like a joke.

A very, very bad joke.
11:41 am
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