Sexual Abuses in Indonesia

By Carla Ardian.

[Writer’s note: Actually I wanted to write about this sooner when it was still fresh. But these past 4 weeks I’ve been facing some rather serious matters and I needed to focus my attention to overcome them.]

One lovely morning on 17^th of April 2008, I was sitting by the pool with two friends of mine. Though the sun shone brightly and the birds chirped happily, we were involved in a deep conversation. Not long after that the intense discussion we had became more emotional as one of my mates, S – a young woman of 33 years old – just told us that she had just been raped a couple of weeks before.

She was just visiting her family in the northern part of Denpasar on Thursday, 3^rd of April 2008 when she was approached by a guy who claimed to be friends with her aunt. He asked a direction to a certain place and she provided him that. The man pretended stupid and requested her to take him to that place instead. She resisted the idea in the beginning but she gave in eventually and took a ride with that guy on his motorcycle.

S said that this awful bloke drove his motorcycle to the wrong direction with a reason that he had to pick up his friends who also wanted to see the house.

Apparently they ended up in a hotel out of nowhere. It was then when S was forced to come inside the hotel room when she met the other two guys. Once inside, the three guys started to make a sexual move to her. She struggled her best to free herself, she admitted, but with one guy holding her wrists and the other her ankles, she had to lose the battle. In turn they raped her until she was left feeling very shaky, deeply humiliated and devastated.

The next four days she locked herself in her small boarding room and cried her eyes out. She did not dare to tell anyone about it because of the sole reason of the humiliation she would bring into the family. She did not tell anyone; her family, her boyfriend, or her friends, so leave alone the police. The case was left unreported, even after a heavy persuasion from me and the people who finally knew about this.

Though failing in our attempts to make her report that to the police, we managed to assure her that she definitely had to go to the hospital for a medical check. And she was only convinced after I told her that I took one of those tests, too, once.

Like her, like me, and like most of the unprotected girls all over Indonesia who are often rated second by the community, we experienced a sexual abuse at least once in our life. And I do hope the rapists and the people who blame women for the rapes to happen die in hell!

Ana

These people live in a village with hay roofs close by the central tourism area -- which is not like the other over crowded hype tourist places you imagine -- in Kuta, Lombok.

Ana, the woman, has 3 children. Her first two are twin girls who were very shy in the beginning, but became very excited when shown their pictures on my LCD screen.

Most East Lomboknese live their live from fishery and soy bean farming. Every now and then you'll notice some neat row of soy bean in branches being dried in the sun in front of traditional Lombok houses.

The Issuance of Cyber Law a Threat to Indonesian Blogger

watching: National Treasure
tags: politics

---

The government of Indonesia is finally to issue the Cyber Law after two years going back and forth discussing the matter. This law apparently has hauled some rather strong reactions from some of the Indonesian bloggers, especially those who attended the meeting held by the British Council on Friday, 4 April 2008.

Blogger Enda Nasution warned the Indonesian bloggers to be more careful in their choice of content uploaded on their journal as it might be considered sensitive by certain groups. Even a simple linking to a website with a defamation content can get a blogger in trouble, he told the Jakarta Post.

But how do we define a libel? How do we know when a statement is offensive or abusive when it seems like people have different standpoints of the degrees of how a matter should be expressed? But that is just the key point, isn't it? Different standpoints. Different opinions. Isn't that what makes this world such an interesting place to live?

After two years of deliberation, the House of Representatives passed the Electronic Information and Transaction Law last month, which prohibits citizens from distributing slander in any electronic format. Perpetrators can get a maximum of six years in prison or a fine of Rp 1 billion (US$107,526). The law also prohibits any kind of pornography, gambling, blackmail, lies, threats and racist comments.

More questions:

How do you differentiate pornography and art? That is an ongoing forever debate all over the world, and still... it is in the grey area where you keep being confused about it. For me personally, it needs not be defined in any way extreme for it is so abstract and it always comes back to the viewer's background (culture, religion, economy condition, etc.) and perception over things.

Racist comments.

This is hard. I mean maybe almost everyone reading this may have agreed with me that racism shouldn't ever exist. But almost everyone reading this may have made at least one racist comment or joke on something that is stereotypical. Most of the time, they would have been ever much funnier when you were making fun of your own race. So how to define a comment is racial and abusive?

I've gone through some occasions in my life where I felt so abused by statements that were delivered politely and decorated beautifully with very nice words. But I knew the real meaning underlying all of them were not to praise me at all. In fact, it was meant to put me down. So is this kind of statement not abusive merely because it is stated in the polite manner? I know enough cases where someone uses racist or sensitive words in a statement, it does not necessarily mean literally the same way it sounds. And the real point is usually taken rightly.

So again, grey area.

Some bloggers, including Raditya Dika, deleted some posts on their blogs so that they would not get the bad impact of the bill. Really, as a person who often makes honest and sharp (yes I have to admit it) comments over basically various aspects in life like me, I couldn't agree with the bill passed. I may even get a problem by having this uploaded. But where is the freedom of speech that we claim to have after Soeharto stepped down from his throne? I thought we were proud of being one of the nations in South East Asia that could voice ourselves the most. First the youtube was blocked due to the wide circulation of Fitna the movie in the site. Now this.

I am very concerned that Indonesia is going backwards in terms of this freedom of speech. I mean what can you really expect from the Indonesian lawmakers who slept during the President's speech on important subjects of the people's lives? Of course these bupatis who irresponsibly did this are not those who issued the law we are talking about. But they are an example.

And clearly Ibu Siti Fadilah Supari, Indonesian Minister of Health, has expressed and used her right in the freedom of speech to the highest by accusing WHO stealing the Bird Flu sample and not benefiting the sample giver country (us). I am surprised that she did not get any warning concerning her book titled "Time For The World To Change, The Hand Of God In Bird Flu", which more or less putting the United States of America and WHO in the corner of a rather baseless (maybe it's right, but not much fact revealed) accusation in this bird flu sample case.

But oh, I forgot. Of course she didn't get banned. It was A BOOK. Not a BLOG. And what again? She's a minister. An Indonesian high profile person.

So despite the Communication and Information Minister, Muhammad Nuh's diplomatic comment on Indonesian bloggers are not enemy, but family, he still licensed the law to be passed.

The inconsistency that exists among the ministers is the one that probably triggered the hacking of some minister's and parties website.

Hackers on Thursday posted a message on the information ministry's Web site (http://www.depkominfo.go.id) saying: "Prove that the law has not been made to cover government stupidity."

---

All in all, as a big time blogger, I feel rather threatened, too. And if by a mere linking to a website that contains a defamation is considered wrong, while our real purpose is to inform people of the existing happening in the society, how can we possibly be knowledgeable and aware of what is going on in our own country? How can we contribute our voice in this kind of medium? How else can we be a good but critical citizen of the Republic of Indonesia?

I really hope President Yudhoyono is not signing that proposed bill.

The HOTTEST Picture of the Year!!!

Singapore Superhero

Taken from Weird Asia News:



Parents are getting crazier and crazier everyday. I think I'll name my daughter Catwoman binti Carla.

Haha.

Tagged (again) doh! It's Endless....

8 Things that I am passionate about:

1. Photography
2. Food
3. Home decorating
4. Smart guys
5. Guys with great body
6. Rich guys
7. Guys who are willing to try to understand the women
8. Movies
   

Eight books I have read recently:

1. Rethinking Thailand's Southern Violence - Duncan McCargo
2. The Runaway Jury - John Grisham
3. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
4. MDF Operations Manual
5. Rebuilding Together - Multi Donor Fund for Aceh and Nias, Progress Report - December 2005
6. How to Draw Manga
7. Thinking for a Change
8. The Bag of Bones - Stephen King
   

8 Things I want to do before I die:

1. Have at least one photo of mine published in National Geographic
2. Try 10 more different jobs
3. Find my soul mate
4. Have a dog farm
5. Have a child of my own
6. Travel to Africa
7. French-kiss Jack Johnson
   
8. Read the real Kamasutra and practise it
   

8 Things I have learnt in these past years:

1. Believe that what I believe is what will happen
2. Friends in need are real friends
3. Don't fall in love with a travel mate
4. Don't cook when you're sleepy or not in the mood
5. Call your mum at least once a week or she'll nag you for the whole month
6. Make photos mainly by heart, not by technique
7. Poop in the morning, or don't poop at all
8. Don't buy jewelery in Thailand
   

8 Things that attract me to my bestfriends:

1. Honesty
2. Modesty
3. Easygoingness
4. Generosity
5. Uniqueness
6. Playfulness
7. Ability to listen and understand
8. Cleverness
   

8 Songs that I could listen to over and over again:

1. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
2. Growth - India Arie
3. Loving You - Shanice Wilson
4. Constellations - Jack Johnson
5. Inertia Creeps - Massive Attack
6. 2 + 2 = 5 - Radiohead
   
7. Cicak-Cicak di Dinding - Michelle
8. Je M'Suis Fait Tout Petit - Georges Brassens

8 Things I say often:

1. Shut up.
2. Whatever.
3. Screw you, guys. I'm going home [impersonating Eric Cartman in South Park]
4. I don't care.
5. Thanks.
6. Really?
7. Aduh lapar. Makan yuk.
   
8. Cool.

8 People I am tagging now:

1. Johann
2. Francois
3. Coolz
4. Martha
5. Pei
6. Mariza
7. Denni
8. Carol
   

Relaxing and Productive Weekend

mood: busy deleting deviations notifications
watching: John Tucker must die
---
My last weekend activity started early. I had a dinner invitation by Ismael (Nene) along with some other friends, Pam and Carol. I thought that was nice. So soon after I finished work on Friday, I went back home, took 15 minutes nap and refreshed myself until Pam picked me up with a taxi to head to Ismael's villa.

Carol as usual was very late. I called her at 8 (the time when we supposedly started the dinner) and she was still at home. I wouldn't mind that much when someone was late actually, except the fact that I am so not used to having dinner at 9. That's way too late for me, considering that I usually have lunch at 12 or 1. And I don't really snack... Besides that, I was curious how this Vincent guy whom she had been telling me a lot about lately. She bigged him as a gorgeous guy she met at a music concert in Denpasar a couple of weeks ago. While waiting for her to arrive, I shot some pics of Ismael preparing the dishes.



There was also another French guy (can't remember what exactly his name is.... probably Xavier), whose girlfriend is a Thai girl. Very, very sweet mannered. Very Thai. Her name is Aey.
Pam often made this mistake of talking to her in Bahasa Indonesia and I always had to keep reminding her that Aey was not Indonesian. Pam always said, "I did it again? Oh, sorry. But you look so Indonesian."

Carol also said a few times, "Hey Carla, don't you look alike with Aey! No wonder they kept mistaking you as a Thai girl when you were in Thailand."

N.o. W.a.y.

I can't believe my mates thought the same. Now look at this picture very carefully and tell me she doesn't look like me!!!!



In overall, the dinner was very nice. It was very relaxing. And though I lost about a quarter of the conversation because the men kept speaking in French (Ismael, Xavier and Vincent are French), it was cool to gather with friends and meet new people.


Left to right: Carol, Vincent, Pam.

One other thing is that Ombak and Manja, Ismael's dogs, are sooooo adorable. They are big golden retriever dogs but as sweet as ever. They liked me a lot, as most dogs do. But really, they're so big that when they jumped on me to lick on my face, they'd reach my shoulder and I would be pushed a few steps backwards and their claws would leave very red marks on my cleavage and shoulders. Doh!







11:30 we went back home feeling so full and happy.

---

Saturday, 29 March 2008.

Because of the increasing stress I got from work last week and the lack of sleep the night before, I slept for about 13 hours in total on Saturday. I finally got up at around 3ish when Patricia called and asked me to go out to the Discovery Mall for an ice cream. The day was super hot so I thought ice cream would be GREAT.


Pat.

She picked me up and off we went to the mall. Pam joined us later on and we went window shopping together. Okay, I mean in the beginning we planned to do window shopping only. But when we saw these discounted cool items everywhere up to 75% at Sogo, Centro and La Senza, we couldn't resist the temptation to buy a few stuffs.

I didn't quite realise what things I bought until I arrived home and checked the plastic bags and..... it appeared that I ONLY BOUGHT THONGS!!!

What was I thinking? :">

---

The last day of the weekend was spent by painting one other (bigger) wall of my livingroom/kitchen. I chose the colour blue. To the right part of the wall was my yellowish orange wall I painted a few weeks ago.
I only did two layers this time and it already took 2 litres of paint. When it was done (which I still feel rather unsatisfied with because of the uneven colour. I think I have to do the third layer (doh!), I felt quite proud of myself for finally doing that.



Pam called and asked me to go karaoke at Inul Vista that has just been opened at the Discovery Mall. So going to the mall again??? :P That was a little bit too much for Bali standard when you have all the beautiful beaches and nice coffee shops, and instead you spent two days in a row at the MALL!
But I never karaoked in Bali. The other karaoke places are like ++ ones [sex service included] and unless you counted the times where I sang at some restaurants as a karaoke experience, I actually never had a microphone to sing in a private booth like I did in Surabaya or Jakarta.

It was ridiculously expensive, though. Rp 60,000 an hour for the smallest room! We had fun, nevertheless. Especially when singing CRAZY from Aerosmith. It felt SO GOOD to yell and shout and jump up and down during the song!
We even did the cheesy Step by Step of New Kids on the Block of the 80s and got a score of 98 out of our so many mistakes!!! :D

One thing why I hate malls is that it is hard not to buy anything. I am not a shoppaholic. But I was so interested in buying a lot of stuff last weekend. On Sunday alone I bought a long carpet that I'd put in front of the TV, a bright red tape for fixing my sink pipe (and I did this morning, with no help of plumber!) and 6 DVDs, which Pam complained to be so unfair because I could borrow all her DVDs but she was not very much interested in borrowing mine. Out of those 6, I had 4 of cartoons (and one of them is the latest Barbie movie release, which she despised. haha). Oh well, so what? I love cartoons and animations. :P

But I think I should punish myself for shopping too much last weekend. I won't go out for meals this week. I have to cook everyday (it's saving much money)!

As much as I thought it was unwise to shop a lot, I still agreed on my thongs! :D