Hi peepz,

Sorry for the absence. But I was working on some personal writing project since last week, so I neglected the blog a bit. I've done the first important part of it, fortunately, so I can relax a bit now. :)

So.. some new stuffs about me:
  1. I've not been very productive with my wallpapers lately. My mind's been blank most of the time and my bad mood doesn't help at all, worsens it even. :P
  2. My friend, Arnoud, had wanted me to write a contribution for his homepage since maybe last year. I was being difficult and was not particularly in the mood to write. I'm not really into writing, anyway. So I asked him to choose from my blog. He's in China now, Guang Zhou to be exact, and apparently blogs from this site cannot be read there. He asked me to send my stories via email, and I was like.. "what? I've had too many stories on my blog!!!" He insisted, and so I was being bitchy about it and refused to do so. Then he had his friend to send the stories to his email. Arnoud asked me if I ever wrote something more positive towards the world (He wants to see the world as a beautiful positive place, rather than negativities. And it seemed to me that he thought I wrote more negativities than the opposite. :P). That made me tensed again. So I said: "Well, that's all I got and what I write is what is in my mind. Don't ask me to bluff and tell things in the other way I don't think it is. So if you want, pick one from my blog, and if none satisfies you, leave it. Until I write something that you think is decent enough." I think I hurt him at that time. And I was sorry later on. But I have to admit his patience. He's still talking to me and one day, he told me he picked this topic of mine about Women's Merit and would get it uploaded on his website, section Contributions, after a few editting. He did, though he failed to describe my job right, though.. I never see myself as a web designer. Am I? I make wallpapers and web layout, does it make me a web designer? Hihihi.. Anyway, it does feel good to see your work featured on another person's website.. So keep writing, guys. If you want to give a contribution at Arnoud's page, simply contact me or him directly about it. And if you wanna check my editted writing, here it is --> [link]
  3. Mark keeps me smiling till now, but somehow I think I need to give him some more space. He's probably getting bored of me by now. :P I kept him chatting with me before he went to work and caused him to be so late. Although I woke him up at the right time, it was no use when he spent another hour to chat at home. That's why we change the condition. So, my friends, if before I didn't join our coffee break time at three o'clock cause I was chatting with him, I'll make it up and do it more regularly, like we always used to. He won't be online until after he's at work anyway. :) Sorry for my selfishness.
  4. Last weekend I went to Desperados with Rina, finally after so long. The band was great and Rina described it well on her blog. So I'm not going to fuss about it. You can read the report here. Hehehe.. Thanks for writing it, Rin.
  5. I'm super bored. I did this test just now.

    What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
    Flirting Skill Level - 36%

    Kissing Skill Level - 78%

    Cudding Skill Level - 82%

    Sex Skill Level - 21%

    Why They Love You You can do amazing things with your tongue.
    Why They Hate You You can be selfish.
    This fun quiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 1915006 Times.
    New - How do you get a guy to like you?

    Kissing and cuddling levels of mine are pretty correct (hahahaha.. big headed me, yeah) but how come my flirting and sex levels are that low? Why why why??? Do I need to be older to get them high? Hehehehe.. Anyway, that's just for fun. If you get to do the quiz, tell me your outcome. It may be cool to discuss it here.

A wallpaper of Gwen Stefani I made yesterday. Click to full view. Resolution: 1600x1200. Any feedback is appreciated. :) Thank you.
One of my biggest enthusiasms in life is photography. Before I lost my camera, I took so many photos of about anything every single day, chose some good results and personally exhibited them in my gallery at Deviantart.com. I've been very addicted to the site for it gave me soo.. many feedbacks and comments, which absolutely are essential for my own improvement in the photography techniques.

Just a few weeks ago I was bored as hell at the office. I decided to corrupt my working time and browse around for good photographs/photographers through my friends' links. One of the great galleries I found belongs to a guy identified as "indorock". So far at that time he was specialising himself in architectural/nightshot photography, which I found amazing! I watched him; meaning if ever he posts a piece of art or journal, I'll be notified.

Not long after he had this project of taking model pics called "Food Photogenics". I loved his works. I loved his ideas. So I commented on some of his deviations and he generously replied .

I checked his userpage and it stated there that he lived in the Netherlands. THEN I had this feeling of showing off my Dutch, which was very miserably awful, for not being used for years. But it was a phrase of echt waar I was saying and I was very confident it was the right term and expression to answer him. It worked. He noticed me! Until this trouble came.

He sent me a note, IN FULL DUTCH, saying: ik ben gewoon nieuwsgierig....voor welke bedrijf heb je gewerkt in NL? Hoe vond je het hier?

I was like, "Eh???? What the hell does it mean???"
I grabbed the phone near me and tried to call my mum. She's the one I always contact when I have a problem with the language.

"Sorry the number you're calling is being repaired," said the machine. Duh!

I didn't dare to answer him right away but I was desperately trying to remember who could help me translate.
I double-clicked my yahoo messenger program and there I found Sharif online. Yippeee! (Sharif is my friend whose father is Indonesian and mother Dutch.)

Me: Rif, what does nieuwsgierig mean?
Sharif: Curious.
Me: How do I say: Can I answer your questions in English?
Sharif: Kan ik je vraag in engels beantwoorden?
Me: Thanks!

Phew! One problem was solved.
So then I replied him. And I picked up the phone receiver once more, and enrolled myself for an M1 class at Erasmus huis. I'm learning Dutch again. :)

The sweet thing was that it didn't end there. Notes by notes were being exchanged and the chats were becoming more intensed when I found out that he had a yahoo messenger.

He's soooo... fun to be chatted with! Sooo broadminded. Sooo creative. Sooo cool. Sooo open. Sooo unsaint (and this might be the best attraction, hihihi)!
I don't know.. it might be too early, but I've found myself VERY comfortable talking to him, about anything. Comfortable enough that I gave him my phone number. On your note, I DON'T usually give my numbers to internet chatters. But this guy.. I don't know. I can't explain it very well, but he's quite unusual. In a good way.

He called that weekend. And the next weekend. And chats about 5 hours a day, e v e r y d a y. And every time we talk, we get more interested to each other. Ohh.. I don't know.. This should be quite unbelievable. But it happens. TO ME. Ladies and gentlemen, TO ME.

However it sounds impossible to you, it makes me happy. HE makes me happy. He brought my smiles back and I've felt that the world is more friendly to me. I'm not into analysing the future at the moment. I hope, yes. But I'll leave it in the time's hands (if time has hands, hehehe).

He's different, I can tell. I hope it stays that way. I know I haven't known him too long, nor both of us have met. But he assures me that it's not impossible. As long as we want to work it out, we will find a way. What a sweety, eh?! :D

So.................. meet Mark Mulder.

My most favourite photographer.
My most favourite debate partner.
My most favourite man!

I hope someday I can make him my most favourite love. :)
I lost my camera.
Define a loser.

Well I know a loser who:
... is in a blind love.
... is extremely obsessed by a particular adorable person.
... cannot accept that life goes on.
... doesn't realise that he can't turn back time.
... fancies that the girl he loves can never get a guy she truly loves and respects, but him.
... is too insecured in about anything, EVERYTHING, concerning her.
... always negatively thinks that he loves the girl too much and expects her to do the same in return; when she actually bestowed the feeling, he kept craving for her faults and sticking a label on her forehead that she actually cheated on him with another guy, when she DID NOT.
... finally got cheated on in real for the girl thought that it would make no difference cheating/not cheating on him, think of the blame!
... tried to get her back when it was already too late, when the feelings are long gone.
... started to bitch around when he had to face a firm refusal.
... lost about everything he invested in his relationship with the girl as the result of his own reckless inhuman words. Not even a friendship.

I was once that dummy so I should UNDERSTAND more. But this guy I know is a real kick ass.
Too sweet in the beginning, too bitchy in the end.
You just can't claim you know about somebody until some bad things occur.
Life's way too surprising.