I finally made up my mind to have a new digital camera. I bought a Canon Power Shot A75 cause:

1. I've dreamt to own an exclusive digital camera to satisfy my photography hobby, preferably SLR or semi pro camera, to save my money from spending it too much on films, developing and printing. But it's just too expensive for my standard.. so I decided to be thankful enough if I can just have a pocket one. It includes manual functions anyway.
2. I'm buying it with a credit card that serves an easy pay system, which allows me to pay it in installments for 12 months, with 0% interest. Seriously, it's a very good offer and I won't even feel like losing a big amount of money.

The camera arrived yesterday and I've made a few shots with it as soon as I got home at night. I can tell I'm pretty happy with the results. :D

*jumping and dancing around with a new camera in my hand*

A macro of water colour paints

A macro of the monkey doll on the telephone.
Last weekend was awesome. I went for a road trip around East Java with two of my workmates, Justine and Yendy, and many of other people of Jus' boyfriend's friends. Ekk.. I hate when I have to explain that. Anyway let's start it with Thursday night.

I felt really sick that evening. My eyes hurt as hell, I suspect that I was getting it from the whole tiring day and staring at the computer screen too long, and it really fucked my nerves up that I couldn't even sleep in whatever position. My head span like really hard and I kept feeling awful. Jon took me to Justine's house then to stay the night there. She gave me some vitamin and massaged my head and areas around the eyes. She also pampered me with a pair of cooling eyeblinds (is it the right term?) so after a while, I felt better. Nevertheless, I decided to really reconsider in taking the road trip the next morning. If I was better, it would be okay, but if not, I'd just simply cancel it, for the sake of the blemish I had.

The eyes were willing to compromise the next morning. We were picked up late by Yudi, whose name I was able to remember a few hours after (damn I was so really slow in remembering names!). It was just a moment after I perched my fat ass on the cozy seat of his car, when Justine announced that there were two mommies of the other fellow travellers who were going to join us. I groaned and was seriously thinking that the trip would suck. But hey, what could I possibly do there when we were heading for it?

There were 15 people who would do the journey, including the mommies (seriously, you should not expect me to remember the names at that very time). And it did not take so long to find out that they drove like a madman on the highway! But let's make it short and get into the details of the places we visited:

Day 1: Tanjung Papuma (the Cave of Papuma). This place is near Watu Ulo beach, which I never understand why it is so wellknown. It is just a few hundreds metre and successfully stunned us with its oh-so-natural beauty and cleanliness. The shore makes a few cool lines and patterns of different blue colours and there were some big rocks in the middle of the water that stand proudly and lonely. I definitely liked the view!

Tanjung Papuma.

Tanjung Papuma

Day 2: We stayed in a hotel called Margo Utomo Agro Resort in Kalibaru (I swear it was the first time I knew there was a city named Kalibaru in East Java), which is surrounded by beautiful fresh green hills. I didn't get myself into the pool for my disability in swimming, but I could imagine it would be just sooo... cool to swim there with a natural view around me. How I wish I could swim!!! *sob hard* Well anyway, the hotel was just perfect, the weather was perfect, the view was perfect and I'm perfectly sure I'd like to stay a few nights in that same hotel again! With a boyfriend, if possible. Hehehehe.. I just gotta find one.
After lazying around in the hotel until midday, we were on the road again directing Baluran National Conservative, that is supposed to have a wide variety of tropical animals and plants. I expected to see some leopards and other wild animals, but it was just not the right time of the year to see them around in the open field. We went through the woods, then the evergreen forest, coming toward a h u g e savannah where it rained for a while, producing an extraordinary absolute way to the heaven: RAINBOW. Hey, it was not the first time I saw a rainbow, but it was the very first time I saw both ends of the rainbow, thanks to the savannah! Gorgeous!
We continued our journey following the path and arrived at a white sandy beach with calm shallow water that was sooo.. perfect for a swim beginner like me! Too bad I didn't bring my swimmingsuit. :( But I was pretty happy I could take the pics of the monkeys who were playing around in the swamp in the beach. They seemed naughty, as they attacked one of the mommies, but I just so loved the baby monkey I found. It was really really cute.

Day 3: We stayed in a hotel called Sidomuncul in Pasir Putih beach. This hotel is equipped with an airconditioner and TV but trust me, it's not even half more satisfying than the hotel we stayed the previous night in Kalibaru. But taking the advantage of the facility, I watched the Fear Factor show and the audition of American idols till midnight. That made me unactive the next morning, when all of the people wanted to play in the beach at 6 o'clock. Instead I was just sleeping in my not-really-cozy bed, enjoying my time. Pasir Putih never takes me into a deep interest at the first place, anyway. Though it brought some protests from the other members of the trip, I simply felt I needed to say: Well, I'm on vacation. I have the right to enjoy myself in anyway I can and want.
I must sound pretty self-centered, but waking up at 6 o'clock on my holiday? Puhh-leeea-ssee!

We packed our things at 11, heading for Madakaripura waterfall on our way back home. Of all waterfalls I've ever seen and visited, this one is the most breath-taking. It was not a very long walk from where we parked our cars, but we really had to hire some guides. I absolutely could accept that -- having some guides with us, that is -- for when it got nearer to the main waterfall, we had to pass through some other smaller waterfalls with very slippery rocks welcoming us. The guides showed us which way was the safest and suggested that we should take an umbrella with us, which they rented for a thousand rupiah each. It was proven to be very useful for the other people, but useless for me and Yendy. We were both all wet when we arrived at the main waterfall.

Madakaripura Waterfall.

Madakaripura waterfall was simply the most unbelievably extremely beautiful and satisfying place we visited during the trip (according to me). It was like we were in the very end of a big water jug, and there was this big amount of water falling from the sky. Nature never fails to fascinate me.

We stopped at a small but very crowded seafood warung in Pandaan for dinner. It was the place where we said goodbye to each other. I really enjoyed this road trip. The people might vary in personalities and appearances, but they were certainly fun to be with (for a short time, I guess). I can't even recall when the last time I had a great laugh like I did when I was with them. Justine's boyfriend and his loyal partner, Jien, are definitely crazy and funny and good entertainers. I blessed every minute I spent with them.

Oh well.. I'm happy. I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I'm satisfied.
My battery has been recharged.
Thanks, Jus. :-)
Have you ever had a diary? I did, but it never lasted long enough that it went full. I personally dislike the traditional writing (a pen or pencil scratched on a piece of paper) but since I was introduced to use a computer, I decided that I did not mind typing.

I've still kept some of the mini diaries I had in my childhood. Once in a while, like really in a while, when I needed to reorganise my room, I found those memorable books and read them (there were probably less than ten pages were written). They brought me laughs and giggles and smiles and frowns and cries all over to step back a couple of years before and remember the times I spent. It was certainly a fine moment to compare the used-to-be me and the present me. A fine moment to see the journey of my life more thoroughly. A fine moment to reconsider the whole perspective of past, present and future.

Undoubtedly having a diary has many advantages for ourselves. The only thing that kept me away from it was just that I had to write.

Two years ago, I was into making a website and was asking Denni about some HTML functions and uses. He then introduced me to blogger and suggested me to learn little by little from making an easy webpage of myself there.
Time went by and I found myself keep typing my activities in my blog. There were such many ups and downs in telling my life in the blog cause no one read it. But once Coolz introduced her blog, it was booming in my website office and almost everybody decided to own a blog of itself.

It didn't stop there for blogger had added a few more useful user-friendly tools such as the WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) view in the post section, a random toolbar to browse other blogs, more new page designs and the comments facility (these were not provided two years ago). Especially the comments feature, it draws more and more internet users to sign up for a blog, which makes blogging more interactive and fun, knowing that our blogs are read.

Rina, my bestfriend, has always been busy with her work and hardly spends her time for herself. It is just like in the weekends she and I hang out together in a mall or cafe and share stories and gossips.. but I believe it was not quite enough for her that I started to be a blog salesgirl.
She signed up, after me suggesting her for ages to make one, at another similar blog service. That is of course more than fine cause it does not matter where you write your story, right? It took her only two days to get addicted in writing and writing (or I should say typing and typing) every night and this morning she told me she couldn't stop doing it. It relieves her in a way to let some of her burdens out of her head for a while, when she can't find anyone near to tell her mind to. That is in fact very very true.

Comments in our blog are just what we most appreciate. But sometimes we miss checking them out for the comments are for the old posts that we hardly check or look back. Blogger.com saw this and launched a nice feature of the comments notification, right to your personal email. So if you have not been aware of this advantage, check this out and apply it in your personal blog. It's useful.. trust me.
  1. Visit the Settings section on your blog;
  2. Choose the Comments button;
  3. Set who can comment in your blog: anyone is allowing a blog user or non blog user to comment on your posts as an anonymous;
  4. Right in the Comments Notification address, type your email address to where you want your notification be sent whenever someone drops a comment for you.
Happy Blogging! :)
Coolz wrote testimonials for every member of Excellogix office. I'm thinking to return the favour.

Today is the last day Coolz worked in our website office. She accepted a copywriter job in Jakarta a few weeks ago and will be leaving for it next week. That's a very promising future prospect; thus she did not turn it down for her self-improvement sake. The job definitely suits her talent and academic background. She would be a complete fool if she decided to not take it.

However, she has seemed a bit moody and not comfortable lately, in my eyes, though she was trying to cover it with smiles and laughs. You can complain to me if I'm wrong, Coolz.
I suspected that it was because of her leave, which understandably is pretty hard to do for she had been working here for four years, first job of her life, started when she was still studying at the university. I can imagine her reluctance to leave the city that has been her home for her whole life, friends who know her too well and whom she's known for so long, family she loves... I really understand the mood swing.

But Coolz, Jakarta is only an hour flight away from here. With the so very competitive airplane rates we have had, the distance should not be a problem, right? The real person-to-person interaction will not be as frequent, but you'll be online everyday anyway... So we won't lose contact, right? :)

It's not a goodbye, my friend. It's just a temporary absence of each other's presence.. until we meet again.

Good luck.
When I was still in school, I used to find it amusing to exchange short messages to a friend in the same class. That was especially when the lesson was super boring and the teacher could only produce a monotonous speech.
I remember that sometimes we got caught and we were asked to read it aloud for the whole class (imagine the blushes for having our little secret revealed). Yet, it didn't stop us to keep writing for the sake of the boredom killing.

Now that I am a teacher (not that I ever dreamt to be), I happened to see the same thing to my elementary students (of grade 2) this morning.

emang ini sahabat sejati tapi kok kamu siwak melinda dia kan sahabat sejati kamu catrin
[indeed true friends but why do you break your friendship with melinda she's your true friend, right, catrin]

dia yang nyiwak aku
[she broke it]

masak melinda yang nyiwak kamu jelasin supaya aku ngerti
[was it really melinda that did it explain so that I understand]

sekarang aku sudah gak bisa jawab lagi
[I can't answer anymore]

Jadi kamu bolo aku
melinda dia sudah minta maaf kok
[So you are in my side now
melinda she already apologised]

iya sekarang aku bolo kamu
[yes I'm in your side now]

Tapi aku enggak tau dengan Jennifer C. Waktu itu melinda dipengaruin sama M. Jennifer pas aku disiwak M. Jennifer.
[But I don't know with Jennifer C. At that time melinda was influenced by M. Jennifer when I had a problem with M. Jennifer]

aku sih gak tau gimana dengan Jennifer C.
[I don't know how it is with Jennifer C.]

It stopped right there cause I took the paper.
Sorry to ruin your fun activity, girls. I just wanted to make sure none of my students played around when I was in the class (now I'm acting like a real boring teacher). But at least I didn't punish you or ask you to read that aloud, did I? Be thankful! Hehe..

How I miss those old times.
Almost every girl living in this country longs for a sweet sweet first kiss from her sweet sweet boyfriend. Starting from trying to get a huge attention from the coolest boy in school, doing regular sport to stay fit, fresh and shaped, doing all homeworks well so that the boys could count on us when they didn't do them the night before, to acting shy to form ourselves a saint-like good girl. I had the same thing.

During junior high school, I was quite a nerd. I was proclaimed to be the best student for three years in a row, was forced to join the students' association I was not a bit interested in, had been the chief of the class for the whole three years, was sent to the seminars and stuff and was involved in every little school activity at that time. I didn't like it but in a positive way, it made me popular. Boys kept coming to my house and the phone rang for me everyday. My father was a strict person and I was the first daughter in the family. He did this embarassing thing of hushing away my male friends everytime they tried to contact me, mostly by telling them I wasn't home when they visited or called. So though being famous at school, I could not have a real boyfriend, except this boy named Inggouf of another school. Still, I could not categorise it as a relationship for it only lasted for a week. I didn't have my first kiss.

I changed my tactic when I was in the senior high school. I went to a quite popular public school in the area and met so many new people and boys. I didn't try any single time to be the best student in the lessons this time. Instead, I was the most cheerful and fun girl everyone liked to be with. More attentions were coming. Different from the junior high school time, the guys here were more mature and brave in getting my dad's permission to see/take me out. They would not give up just because of one single blow from my father telling them to get off. But then again, after so many dates and going-outs (most of them were not known by papa), I didn't feel like having one of them as my boyfriend, leading as well that I wouldn't want to kiss any of them at all. I believed that I should have it from the man I really did love for my first kiss was sacred. I stayed innocent.

My father died a few days after I graduated from high school. This time the real struggle began. You never know what real characteristics someone has before you had a financial trouble. My father left my family with 2 houses, one of which my mother sold, a car and some expensive musical instruments that were all sold as well not long after. My relatives came to my mother with crocodile smiles all over their faces, either hinting or saying explicitely that they also wanted a "part" of the money my father earned so hard during his life. I warned mommy not to give them anything, but she harshed me: "What do you know about life? You're only 18!"
Since then my mom quarrelled with me every night, my brother and sister did too. My ought-to-be friends left me for I had no time for fun outings anymore since I had to work after college till late at night, and the boy I loved during senior high school, Rio, didn't pay any attention to me either after we went to the different school. I was lonely.

Then came this really sweet boy of the engineering department at uni, offering me a sweet relationship. I took it. Ardyan was very sweet indeed.. he could wait for me for hours when we were supposed to meet in the weekends (I was teaching privately) and when I finally came home, I probably only had an hour chat with him and fell asleep the next two hours he was in my house! It took me the whole four months to realise that it was not working. Not when I was so busy with school and work. It was not fair both for him and me. So I broke it up and I still had not got my first kiss.

In the third year of university, all students should do their teaching practice at a real school of their choice. I chose the closest good Christian school from my house and started working as an internee there for 2 months.

I met this chemistry and biology lab teacher [name not provided] who looked at me pretty strangely. He was young and was in around his late twenties. I myself was 21. He often asked me to have lunch together, chat together and he called me almost every hour via the school intercom. The other internees were already suspecting something but I just didn't give them a chance to gossip.
His intention became more transparant when he someday half forced me to visit him in his lab to discuss a task I should do as an internee. Excuse me? I was working for the English subject here, why should I have to deal with a chemistry lab administrator? But hey.. it was my precious good grade I was worried of so I came to his office anyway.

Nobody was there but him. He asked me to sit.
After a few chit-chats about nothing -- that led me to learn that he was a very narrow-minded person -- he bowed a little toward me and asked: "Can I kiss you?"

What the...???

I said no. Directly. Briefly. And clearly.

He wasn't going to give up apparently so he was trying to convince me that it was just a normal action between two adult people who were blessed with pleasing hormones by God. *rolling eyes* "Yeah speak, hypocrite. And you said you went to church every Sunday?" I said in heart.

I kept saying no until we heard his phone rang. He moved to receive it and stood next to me while talking to another teacher in the other line. As soon as he hung up, very slowly and undetectably, he bended towards me and kissed me.

Shocked and wasn't very aware of what was going on, I pulled my head away of him and pushed his chest away from me. It didn't work. On the contrary, he pushed the back of my head closer to his face and kept kissing me passionately.

After a while he stopped and we broke off. "You shouldn't have done that," I said.

"But you liked it, right?" he smiled wryly.

He was not a bad kisser at all, but he was certainly not a gentleman enough to take a NO! I was pretty pissed off but didn't really know what to do. My supposed-to-be-very-very-sweet first kiss was taken by him, a NO ONE that I hardly knew!

"You stole my first kiss," I accused after a while.

"Hell you lied. You're 21 and it couldn't have been your first kiss! You are very attractive and I bet you had a long line of boyfriends in the past. You must have kissed them in the first place!"

Damn.. there I was... in his teritory, helpless and confused. My dream of kissing for the first time sweetly was totally ruined by a wrecked guy whom I barely knew, not even my boyfriend, and done in a stupid laboratory near a stupid fake human skeleton and chemical solutions! To make it worse, he didn't even believe it was my first kiss!

Fuck him.
Bless him.

Positively thinking, that jerk showed me that kissing was a nice thing to do, especially when you did it with someone you loved (this I found it later, huh).

Since then I've been addicted with it.
Last Saturday was nice. Went to an all-you-can-eat restaurant with the coffee-breakers.

Coffee breakers is the name Anton gave for the people at my website office who always have a coffee break at three in the afternoon. They are Justine, Coolz, Yendy, Anton and myself. It started several months ago when I often felt sleepy around that time and needed some coffee to refresh myself. I used to contact Jus if she wanted to accompany me drinking coffee. Anton used to have no lunch and drink coffee instead at 12. But he changed his old habit cause the temptation for eating lunch at Excellogix was really unbearable (told you this office can make you fat. What we do here is just eat, sit, eat, sit, eat, sit.....). Instead he was joining us drinking coffee at 3. Coolz and Yendy followed later on. They actually already had the habit of drinking something in the afternoon -- Yendy drinking milk, Coolz tea/coffee. They just suited their time with ours so that the five of us could also do the chatting and gossiping while sipping our cup of coffee.

At Jus' house. From left to right: Anton, Coolz, me, Justine and Yendy.

I'd never been to Hanamasa. My first impression was not bad. They have everything.. from salad (VERY delicious one), all the shabu-shabu and teriyaki, roasted lamb/oyster/crab etc etc, milk, coffee, tea, juices to some list of desert.. chocolate pudding, fruit salad and ice cream. G r e a t!

Frying teriyaki.

The thing is that in less than two hours we were already too full to even eat or see more food. It was certainly not cool that way. I thought I couldn't move out of my chair and my friends would have to drag me out. :D But no... it was just an awful feeling we had, me and Justine especially, but we indeed had a happy time talking, eating and cooking. I wouldn't mind going there again sometime in the future. The food was great. :P

We continued our hang out to Tunjungan Plaza, after me finding out that Andrew was not at home at 4 when he should have had his private lesson with me! In that mall Coolz played DDR and Yendy and I mini basketball at the game station. We also took some pictures at the photobooth (silly ones) then marched to Sogo to find out that they actually had a big sale at the lingeries section!!! I really fell in love with most items of Women's Secret (40% discount, yeaahh!!!) but after a long thought I decided to postpone buying it until after 12 this month. Yet, we spent so much time there craving and digging for sexy and cool lingeries, forgetting that we had two men waiting for us, standing pretty isolated from the discounted items box!!! Hehehe.. Soo.. sorry, Anton and Yendy. It was quite irresistable to not be a shopping crazed when there was a too good offer like that.

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes we are on top of the world and full of positivities -- a heavenly gift for our most-of-the-time-dull life; sometimes we are thrown hard to the bottom, weeping and getting desperate. One day we are happy to greet a new born family member, the other day we suffer for losing someone we love. Today we get excited for witnessing a brand new fact we never have expected before, tomorrow we're puzzled by a tricky something that occurs in our life.

Let's talk about the positivity now.

Today seems to be a bright good day for me -- feeling the sun's shining cheerfully all over and surrounding me -- [please note: the fact is that it's been cloudy and raining almost the whole day] but you know how good mood can make a miracle and blur our vision, right?

It started yesterday when I arrived home, late as usual, tired and messed up. I found Michelle, my six-month-old niece, laying on the mattrass near our TV. I clapped my hands to her and she laughed gleefully. It was soo... nice to hear her laugh. My mother said that she had been sick (my sister is, and she gave the flu to her baby) and was not laughing at all since she arrived at my house earlier. It certainly faded my being gloomy for working the whole 12 hours yesterday. Her laugh was contagious.

I played with her for an hour when I found out that she could finally sit without us having to hold her! We still have to sit her from the sleeping position, though.. but her back is already strong enough to support her whole self. I couldn't stop being amazed to learn this fact.

Sister and Michelle...

Babies are wonderful. I stated again, jokingly, that I would also want to have a baby like Michelle for myself, but my mother warned me directly: "In a marriage, Carla!"
Hehehe.. she knows very well I won't do it in the near future, not even sure I'll do it someday. *giggle*


I've got 4 emails today. Yipppeee!!!
It must be weird, but I really love to hear the sound of my Yahoo Messenger when it tells that I've got mail.

Today the sound was even more beautiful. I received a mail from an ex-colleague offering me something (no, no, I'm not gonna tell you or it may not happen. Superstitious, yeah.. but I just don't want to ruin it. Probably already have cause I already told two persons about it but hoping it'll still work. Girls, if you read this, help me not to spread it, ok? hehehe). It was most unexpected and shocking and certainly made my day. I was very surprised that my hands kept shaking and failed to encourage myself to answer the email directly to even type YES to his offer.

I will do it soon. Certainly have to.
Sometimes I do think that my dogs are much smarter than this ought-to-be-cleverest-species on earth: human.

Zwartje, my black black dog, once was waiting for me to finish eating so that he could get the bone of the chicken I was consuming later. His mouth normally waters when he sees food, and he's had enough yells and shouts from us in his previous months of age indicating that it was not at all the manner we expected from our dogs. He learnt pretty fast. So instead of facing us while we're eating, he sits nearby and has his face looking at something else to distract his attention from the food. He knows we give the bone anyway when we're done eating. That day, after getting one bone from me, he switched place to the sofa and laid comfortably there, letting my dalmation dog, Kabuki, wait for the bone from my brother. Zwartje didn't even bother to bet on the impossible chance of getting double bones, for he knew that he already had his part. Can you measure his intelligence then?

So let me introduce this guy, a young man with a bright brain and charming manner that I fell in love with. After some stunning intensed mind-blowing dates we had for half a year, he had to depart to his home country and we suddenly had to face a distance problem. It took two months after our last meeting when he admitted that he happened to get attracted to another girl. So he dumped me, unmercily, saying: "Hey.. I thought I needed to tell you this.. I happened to meet a girl and something happened......." .
I was super mad and grieving for him but there was nothing I could do with these big big oceans separating us. I tried to forget him but it didn't work. One and a month later, he came back communicating with me over internet, giving me a story that his fling didn't turn out to be a promising relationship (though he was not expecting it to, either) and flirting with me again. I was still in love and though I tried hard to resist at first, I just couldn't deny that he was the one that I wanted.. So I accepted him back in my life, though no promises involved, and I only counted on the magical communication technology of internet to maintain our whatever-ship. It worked for nine or ten months until he did the same thing again with the same template: "Well you know.. I met this girl and something unexpected happened." Then I had the second severe broken heart with the same guy and yet when I refused to stop all contacts, he successfully convinced me that he couldn't lose me by giving me a crap of "You mean a shitload to me" and a convincing sad face over webcam showing that he meant it. Can you measure my intelligence?

We chatted again not long ago.. exchanging best wishes for the coming year blah blah.. He saw me making this wallpaper of myself on Deviantart and told me he liked it a lot and that he also had made a desktop as well. Before knowing what desktop he made, he sent this file and explained later on after I received it that it was his girlfriend as the model.
Ok, let's get serious here. Though I had a blast at the recent New Year's party with some yummy-looking guys, though I felt I was sort of free to start some fun doing activities with the opposite sex again, though I've convinced myself that I'm still very attractive in men's eyes, he didn't really think I was already over him COMPLETELY after a relatively short-period hit he bugged me a few months ago, did he?!?! What did he think my heart was made of? Stone? He knew what I felt for him was not that common girl-to-boy crush. He knew that I, though accepting his I-cannot-lose-you statement, always have avoided the talk about girlfriends, boyfriends, partners or whatsoever relationship-alike! And now he was generously showing off his girlfriend?! He's either sick or just sadly insensitive of this feelings matter! But I know that I can measure his intelligence!

Ironically, it is me who has the lowest intelligence.

I'm back. And black.

I enjoyed so much every time I spent in Bali. Especially the New Year's eve party. It was the coolest and the best party ever!

We started it with a dinner at 21:00 [we = Arief, Rina and friends, mommy and me] and we parted at 23:00 since:
A. Arief was going to his sex party.
B. Mom thought she was too old for clubbing.
C. Rina's friends were just not born for parties. Bleh..

It made our mood change, however, that we were not going to congrat each other at twelve sharp that night.. but whatever.. Rina and I decided to stick on the plan and crossed the street to Paddy's club.

After paying a ridiculous amount of money for the cover charge, we got in and ordered our drinks. Not long after, people -- both men and women -- were attracted to the unique handbag Steve bought me as a Christmas present. It is made of coconut shell and designed as cute and lovely as possible to fit some money and credit cards.. That was a good start to turn my frown upside down.

We danced then. Hardly stopped dancing - except when we needed to go for the toilet, which I often did as a result of drinking beer - until it strucked 12. Everybody was counting down from


I hugged Rina and wished her a happy new year in the middle of the crowds screaming and applausing... As soon as we parted I looked up and saw these so many balloons of many colours fall down from the ceiling, as well as colourful paper cut into pieces and soapy bubbles that made the floor wet.

B e a u t i f u l.

Feeling something, I turned my head to the left and caught a pair of gorgeous eyes of a Latino guy staring at me. In a few seconds he moved his way to me, kissed me on the cheek and whispered me a happy merry new year. Uahhhh.... so............... lovely!!!

We danced again and this time an accident happened. The cigarrette of the previous latino guy landed on my wrist. Ouch... He was a bit surprised and murmured that he was sorry and kissed my wrist. Pretty intimately. Ohhhh....

I was grateful I put some perfume on it before leaving. Hihi..

- 2 hours later... drinking my second beer -

Everyone was getting hotter and sweaty all over, including me and Rina. She was trying to get rid of some guys who were after her pretty nastily. I looked up at the stage when someone up there encouraged me to go up as well.

Not knowing what got into me, I stepped up and danced. On the stage. While holding my small bottle of beer I started to dance and saw Rina give me her fist up. Hehe.. I told her to go up, too, if she didn't want to be alone there. She did, after a few minutes, and after a charming guy asked her to. :D I turned around and danced... and saw this handsome guy on my back giving a gesture for me to move closer to him. I did. And we danced. Hot one.

I just enjoyed the music.
Enjoyed the sweat of mine and his.
Enjoyed his really really masculine bare chest.
Looking up, enjoyed his little hair spreaded on his chin and cheeks.
Enjoyed his breath on my neck.

Enjoyed his breath on my neck?

Did I feel his breath on my neck or his lips on it?!
I wasn't sure.. but I looked up and saw his lips. They smiled. Looked upper and saw his eyes. They also smiled. Man, he was gorgeuous, I thought.

Still dancing, I think I put my lips onto his shoulder. Did I? Well whatever.. everything was so fast when I felt his lips brushing mine.

Did he kiss me? Eyes half open, I tried to think and see more clearly. He did kiss me. OMG omg omg omg omg omg omg................................................................. OH MY GOD!!!!

But I didn't have time to think and decide. I just felt that I just needed to feel. And that was all I did. I kissed him back.


After an eternal while, we broke off; he smiled and whispered: "Thank you."

No no no I should have said that! I thanked him for that! It broke the spell of my saint-like life these past one year and a half. Since 27 September 2003. I thank you, I said in heart..

The whole cool situation was ruined by an Australian girl bursting between us; she faced me and shaked her fingertip right in front of my face.


He's got a girlfriend.

I shrugged and left.. not for a bit second feeling sad.. It was just okay and I just felt like laughing. I did.. laugh and smile all the time. The spell was broken. I'm free!!!

Just then I realized that I had got my new year's resolution.

I am beautiful. As always. And will be more beautiful this year and years after --- for all aspects in life --- I'll become a better person. At least I'll try hard on it.


It was soooo...... good to be bitchy.