The period before and during the first days a woman gets her period every month is sometimes filled with negativity. I don't get that often but when I do, I get a real bad one.

I've been very upset with Mr Boyfriend. As other girls may have experienced, the period of the period makes us very emotional and every small thing appears big and life is just full of drama. But this has started even before that period of the period. Anyway, I'm not going to go into details of what our problems are - or may I say MY problem since he doesn't seem like he feels it but I just feel..... lonely. And worse, neglected. Again, I may not be necessarily intentionally neglected, but that is what I've felt. I guess I just did not expect that he was a real hardworking person who would be willing to spend the entire day and night at the office than be with me doing the boring stuff like watching TV. I guess I did not expect that his concept of having fun with friends always involved so much alcohol and empty conversations till dawn or worse, morning. Empty here goes only for me since all those convos were in French. I guess I was being too individualist for having fed up with being ignored (or not involving myself) in the conversations that were mostly in French at dinners with his bosses and workmates and so I pulled myself away from it, came to an empty and cold bed and left him grab his own fun until the morning came. Seriously, I didn't give a damn if it happened once in a while. But I am frustrated that it's starting to become a habit. And oh how much I hate being a dramatic nagger. But should I shut up and keep it to myself until I get crazy? No, I just had to blurt it out at the worst timing and ruined everything. Maybe not everything but I feel like shit.

At these times, I'd like to run to friends, or whoever that would listen, but I just realised that I had made myself exclusive in my circle of friends this past couple of years. Who do I want to share things with except Pam and Fabio? The others may have forgotten my name and deleted my number from their list for having been idle and not in touch for so long.

Of course there's family. But my only family here in Bali - my sister Ita - has her own problem and worries. And the fact that we don't live close to each other makes it even worse to have a nice communication. I'd like to call my mother, but the last time we were on the phone she was upset with me for not supporting her financially as regularly as I did before due to the instability of the early stage of my photography business.

Negativity.... negativity it is when a woman has her period. Plus fucking situational occurrences. Plus fucking thieves.

Yeah, one of my motorbike mirrors was stolen today when I parked it in front of Fabio's house.

Such a perfect day.


  1. carla, honey...i completely understand ur feeling. its 23:38 now and i am just alone watching tv while boringly browsing here and there while having gin and tonic. ALONE too. iki is of course asleep, and hiro is out drinking. if he is home, he will be busy with his computers and gadgets. so basically eventhough he's home i also will just do the same things at night. watching tv, browsing, and nagging -which is ignored.

    i can feel you now. and this is not a matter of period or not.

    friends cant be reach all times, but blogging helps sometimes. feel a bit better, don't u?

    miss you tonnes :)

  2. Period makes us extra sensitive for sure...but from the way it looks, it doesn't feel like it has something to do with your period. Sounds like you had been putting up with it for quite some time and you are beginning to feel fed up. As much as we want to avoid arguments, and the possibility of them hurling back with accusation of being smothering or controlling, or with whatever, I think it's fair that you talk it out. Make him aware that you aren't OK with his recent hobby. You have a valid point in this situation. It doesn't even need to be an argument, you're a smart girl, I'm pretty sure you know or you'll find a way to bring this up without putting a feeling that you are attacking him. And who knows? You might get a positive reaction.

    I'm not a relationship expert, but don't burden your heart and mind with this negative thought. Put a smile on your face girl :).

    This is the longest comment I have ever made in a random blog. Cheers!

  3. Hugs.
    Hope this one has passed too...
    All negativities will pass and fights or loneliness go away too... if you need ANYTHING, I'm just an e-mail away. Or blog it, I@ll try to check more regularly from now on.

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I think we all women do ;-)