Big Breasts = Shameful?

Ella, one of the FD staffs, told me one day that there was a new gym opened near the office. I welcomed it enthusiastically, though am not sure yet if I can do it in the near future with my tight budget. But at least I know that there is another gym besides the only one we knew here.

Then we continued talking about having exercises by ourselves, like sit-up and push up. And she suggested me to do the standing push-up if I didn't like the laying down one.

"But be careful, Miss," she said, "It can make your breasts bigger."

"Errrr... why should I be careful with it? Big breasts are good, no?"

"No way! That's embarrassing!" she exclaimed.

---

A few hours later, Pam, Ernie and I were going to have a dinner outside. While waiting for Ernie to get downstairs, Pam and I were talking in the hall. She saw my ass and she went commenting like...

"Girl, you have such a big ass!"

I grinned and said, "Thanks!"

She replied, "Geezz... that's not a compliment, you know."

"Huh?"

---

Pam was going to the ATM when Ernie and I sat at the very same night at some food stall waiting for our dinner. Being curious as in the same evening, I got two different remarks about my sexuality, I asked Ernie what she thought about having big breasts.

"It's disgusting," she said.

"Why?"

"Because men like big breasts, you know?"

"So?"

"Well why should we encourage them to see our private bodies? When they get bigger, they will attract more attentions," she explained.

---

Is it only me or do I just live in a different world at the moment? I was brought up by a proud mother who always claims that medium to big breasts are always better than the small ones and an artistic father who appreciated women's curves more than anyone else. As a teenager and young adult I was still surrounded by a community that always praises beauty and curves. Just to mention some: Shierly, Veve, June, Rina, Vitria and many more. They never mind wearing or looking at, even encourage the "modern" way of dressing that show pretty much of our flesh.

But here, in this small town, there is apparently a different idea. Firstly, most of the girls or women here wear headscarves and long clothings. Secondly, it seems to be a sin to wear a tank top here, which later I decided to be a mistake since most of my clothes are tank tops and cute shorts.

The other day, Pam warned me to dress more appropriately on weekdays. Eventhough I didn't teach, she told me that there were quite some men going around the apartment. And wearing hotpants and tank top are not polite. Duh!
Pam is from Jakarta, but she's been here for three months already. I guess she has adapted with the culture here very well and lived based on their expectations. But as a newcomer here, it is still hard to accept the social rules here. Why can't I, in my own place, wear anything I like, just because there are other humans called men --who are not my husbands -- able to see more flesh of mine?

I always think that people do have rights in choosing their own clothes. And if we are to blame girls with curvy body as sinful people, how many people in this world, or to narrow it down, in Indonesia, who gain such a nasty, self-centered, narrow-minded comment?

And this is not to mention that girls receive the most part of the blames in the rape crimes in this country. Almost all of the religious people blame it on the girls. But hey, isn't it caused by a dirty mind, the history of which could vary?

This irritates me a lot.

6 comments:

  1. bah...those narrow minded people! i can't imagine living in such place (i mean, with my "agak menyimpang" way of thinking.

    hmm big breast memalukan?? yang bener ae rek!!! my breasts are things i'm so proud of =))

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  2. I used to be ashamed of my big boobs lhoo... Used to hate them a lot (at puberty age), then I grew to believe that they're one of my ASSET in seducing men and building my confidence!!! Hahaha...

    Yaaa, semuanya kayak lingkaran setan kan La... women lure -- directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously -- with their boobs, buttocks, and curves. Men got horny and attracted, when women liked the attention, there you go, you got a great sex and love of your life, when not, rape.

    Kalo aku sih, (based on Daddy's tip), ngembek di kandang kambing, melenguh di kandang sapi... which means, kalo emang orang2 sekitarmu banyak jilbaban atau complain dengan cara pake baju yang terlalu seksi atau big boobs atau cleavage, yaaa try to reduce wearing such things. Go wear your tank tops at the beach or when you're on a trip.
    (I wear my sexiest, cleavage-displayed tanktop outside Indonesia, since people won't appreciate such flesh-showing in my home country, hihihi)

    Most important of all, DO NOT change your perspective and yourself just because of all these. Adapt, not change.

    You're as pretty and as sexy as you are, with curves, big butt and boops, be thankful for that asset. Those women, they'll learn that one day they'll be ashamed for not having all your assets (kata mamaku, "Kalo ngga ada susu, brarti ngga ada tempat ancik-ancik alias pegangan tangan buat cowok" Hahahaha)

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  3. err... you're not living in paralel dimension isn't it? ;)

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  4. Shier: I knew you'd say that. :D

    Sheila: So what do you suggest me to do with all my tank tops and shorts? Keep them in a box until, God forbids I don't when, I can finally go to some beach? I mean... beaches in Central Java? Come on.... they even wear jackets and maybe three-piece clothes there! I'll still be the most different when I show up with some bikini or hot pants (which I don't care, actually).
    What's getting to my nerve is that now they're making fun of my curves. As if a girl with curves is one of the biggest sins in the world.

    I know they're joking... still...

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  5. Maybe they're just jealous.

    People who blame raped girls for showing too much skin are simply pathetic hypocrites.
    But I also think that it's definitely not wise to show your skin to those lame people.
    Bang Napi says: Kejahatan terjadi bukan hanya karena ada niat pelaku, tapi karena ada kesempatan. Waspadalah... waspadalah...

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  6. denni: Duh, you always know how to be the "moderator" or.. "stabilizator" of an extreme debate. :P Can't agree with you more, pal. I'm watching what I wear now. Huks.

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