What to Believe?

Listening to: Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day

Sometimes things are better known when you use your invisible senses.
Sometimes words mean nothing.
Sometimes principles are unseen articles in a small box of mind.
Sometimes the power of the values that the society develops wins the game.
Sometimes you don’t realize that you’re losing, when you think you’re winning.
Sometimes the truth is deceiving.
And the deceits are the truth.

When it happens, which should we trust?

But ourselves.
Then again, we fool ourselves, as well.
Tell lies and mislead our thoughts to think positively, when it’s not.
If heart had eyes and ears, we folded them tightly that they couldn’t say anything.
Even if they managed to slip through the smallest hole of escapade, we accused them liars.
When they actually helplessly screamed the reality.

I’m getting bored in putting the bet.
In believing that what I think exists does exist.
In convincing myself that I have my lost half somewhere.
That I’m just temporarily living in the dark.

But I live.
I breathe.
I struggle.
And I survive.

No matter how many evils tell me to give up the hope.
I’ll keep on longing.
Cause that’s what makes me myself.

So myself,
Let me introduce you to myself again.
I’m Carla.
A girl who lives by hopes.
A special God creature that doesn’t believe in impossibility.
One of the very few people in the world that credits love.
For love is my air, water, soil and fire.
Something I can’t live without.

Do not ever forget that.
Cause I am you.
I am me.
I am myself.
Remember that, and you’ll survive.
You’ll live.

Good bye, doubts.
Welcome, tears.
Good bye, Mark.
Welcome back, myself.


  1. You'll live
    You'll survive
    You'll find another...soon, hopefully. Besides, we're working on new candidates, right ? hehehe..

    I fooled myself deeply. I did.

    So, let's just hope. Hopes keep us alive. The thing is just you know when to stop hoping on hopeless things.

    So, let's work on it!


  2. forget and move on... go, girl!

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  4. Let us kill all men in the world named Mark! Screw them all, cut off their d*** and throw them into the ocean!!! *lagi emosi ama someone named Mark juga*

    It all leaves me to one single ultimate conclusion :
    Never fall in love a Mark
    Never have an affair, let alone sleep or make love with a Mark
    Never put too high hopes with a Mark
    and once and for all...
    NEVER give your son the name MARK!
    He'll be screwed and sucking all his lifetime!

    *grrrrrr... masih emosi*

  5. wow... Sheila, this Mark must have hurt/annoyed you that bad. hehe..

    I don't hate Mark, but with his behaviour lately, I do feel like losing something.. to believe. I thought he had the same point of view with me, in life and love. But I guess it was only me. :P *sigh* I'm disappointed, but there's nothing I could do about it.

    I think I'm starting to lose faith in men in general.

  6. masih banyak ikan di laut... tenang aja ;)

    hmm, on the other hand.. kamu nih bikin persaingan makin ketat aja deh. Kan aku juga lagi cari2 cowok.. :p

    revisi untuk ikan:
    emang masih banyak ikan di laut, tapi kalo fisherman nya juga makin banyak.. gimana dong?! Kasian untuk nelayan pemula seperti aku kannn.. hix hix

    -dari gadis yang tak berpengalaman- *yaiks*