Your Sexuality

Mark once asked me:

How do you feel towards yourself:
  1. Are you completely straight - into men and never get attracted to women, that is?
  2. Or are you very much into the same sex and don't have any single chemistry for the opposite? A lesbian, in shorter definition.
  3. Or do you consider yourself a bisexual, where you can get both sexes anytime it's possible and suits you?
I replied, "I belong to the first category."
On the other line he said, "Why?"
"Cause I am. I love guys. There's something going on with my physical and emotional reaction when I'm attracted to one. I've never sensed any horniness or nauseating admiration towards girls. I even feel it a bit sickening for me to just imagine to be one, though I don't mind the existence of homosexual people."

But I do have some experience about it.

Lately I felt very much annoyed by Erlita, one of the English teachers at MLT. We both teach at St. Clara elementary school and are partners in teaching the second graders. I've known her since we were still studying at Widya Mandala University, but we were never close. Still are not.

Apparently she's very fond of touching me recently. She likes to stroke my shoulders, back, sides, the flesh directing my butt area and sometimes when we are sitting, my outer thighs. The act disgusts me just SO MUCH it's grossing me out everytime I meet her at school. She even does it lightly in front of the class!!!

I smacked her hand hard everytime she does that and do complain about it. A lot. Aloud. But she didn't seem to get the very very clear message I've been trying to send her and keeps "joking". *sigh*
That's actually one of the things I'd love to get rid of when I finish this academic year, which is in about a month. *counting down*

I had this friend when I was back at uni, named Dea. We used to hang out together with the other friends in the weekend and during the short breaks between the classes. Well she was very well known of being loud and vain, but she was very fond of guys and would proudly announce to us that she did this and that with this guy and that guy. We were often disturbed by her lousy acts sometimes, when she started to bluff about the older men she liked to date. But at least we knew that she was normal.

We were wrong.

One evening, she came to my house by taxi. Weepingly she told me that her parents just got divorced and it broke her heart too much. She asked me if she could stay the night at my place at that time, and I let her.
She looked very desperate. I took a pity on her and accompanied her chatting and gossiping until past midnight. Then came this idea of having a truth or dare game.

We spent probably half an hour just to answer each other's questions, cause we always chose truth -- which was not pretty much fun remembering the truth was not really a secret between us. So when it was my turn to pick, I chose dare. I thought she wouldn't ask me too stupid thing to do since it was already late at night. Again, I was wrong.

She dared me to seduce her by nuzzling her ears.


I refused to do the dare, of course. And asked her to dare me something else. (Truth or Dare is not really an Indonesian game. So we were a bit confused what should be done if we did not want to do the dare) She refused it. She said I had to do it whether I liked it or not. Ggggrrrr!!!

Luckily it was in my house. I had the authority to kick her out of it anytime I wanted. And FYI: I still didn't do it. And it was just the time when I decided to never let her stay at my house again.

Do you have any similar experience?
Which type of sexuality is it in you?
And what would you do if you were in my position?

Tell me. Cause I still have that one problem at present. I believe Erlita is straight. But remembering Dea's case, I can't be that sure, either. So how do I stop her touching me? I had already been as evil as possible to her but she is simply too slow to take it!

Help me.


  1. Anonymous4:19 pm

    Si Erlita cakep ngga? hehehe...aku cewek straight tapi in my wildest fantasy, aku ngga keberatan make out ma Posh Spice just for fun or pada saat mabok. Aku emang kagum tuh ma Posh, cewek classy, elegant yet sex appealnya juga tinggi. Ya pokoknya the perfect beauty lah, and who doesn't admire beauty?!

    Ada kemungknan juga kan si Erlita tuh juga ngerasa kagum ma kamu and pengennya bisa kontak sering2, secara fisik or emotional. Inget2 dulu pas jaman SMP/SMA banyak cewek2 'biasa' di sekolah mesti copy gaya berpakaian, rambut dll cewek2 'top/popular' and berusaha mungkin masuk di group popular. Seiring tambahnya umur mungkin udah nyerempet ke arah sexualitas juga, bukan sekedar gaya or temen deket.

    Kamu yakin Erlita straight, ya kemungkinannya itu tuh, either dia liat kamu sebagai the perfect beauty, role model dia atau bisa aja cuman maen2, doing crazy things, biasa things nya org muda hehehe...mumpung jek iso...

    Sorry ya, kok malah aku mendorong ke arah lesbian action gini...cara prevent si Erlita...hmmm...susah. Kalo di warning keras ngga mempan juga ya tunggu lah, sebulan itu cepet kok. Good luck deh!

  2. kayaknya kalo Erlita menter aja (dibilangi ga isa), kamu jaga posisi aja yg memperkecil kemungkinan dia bisa touch kamu. yang penting kamu ga bagi dia peluang buat mikir kalo km juga ada 'rasa' (kali2 beneran g straight):P
    lha ada orang lain yg digituin juga ndak sama dia?

  3. :)) ga bisa bayangin deh kalo si Er kagum sama aku. keliatannya nggak, tuh. alesannya dia sih dia pengen ngukur lemakku. tp masa terus2an??? dan di pundakku kan ga ada lemak.

    smurf, aku udah nyobak duduk jauhan sama dia, tp begitu kursi sebelahku kosong, dia geser tempat duduk di situ.
    trus orang lain ga digituin. dia pada dasarnya orangnya kaku kok. susah deket sama orang. tp sekalinya ngerasa bisa becanda sama aku kok jadi gitu yaa? :((

  4. soal si erl.... ckckc... kemungkinan kalo aku di posisimu, pas dia pegang pegang, aku bilang "lapo ae seh kok pegang2....!!! ge enak tau!!!" hehe... mboh wes... nek tetep aja menter... isa2 tak seplak orang itu... sptnya u udah pake cara itu ? hehehe...

    kasar yoh.... atau mungkin kayak anak kecil ? maybe... tapi kalo dia ga bisa dikasih pengertian... apa boleh buat ?!

  5. aku: tak klewesi, nek gak direken terus lama2 mungkin dia sadar2 dewe nek aku gak suka digituin. jaga jarak ae. mau yak apa lagi, kan kalo ngomong langsung, dia sakit ati malah berabe...urusan jadi panjang, wong kalian colleagues.

  6. just go! new experience!! hehe