The End of the World

This must be a complete sad devastating day.

Not yet feeling better from the last night's aggression with my dearest, other things came up to upset me.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like pooping (which was a good thing, considering it's always been a nasty problem to me). My stomach kept aching so I decided to just be awake and do something. Last Sunday was Michael's birthday and I couldn't find anything decent to give to him. I was thinking to make it up by making him a brownies.

While preparing all the ingredients, my mother informed me about the death of one of Reta's hamsters. It was eaten by the other hamsters. I was angry again and asked the people in the house to call Reta and asked her to bring the hamsters along with her so that SHE takes care of them, instead of receiving compliments of being such a patient 15 year old girl that loves her pets! But nobody would. Trying to ignore the pity I felt for the poor innocent creature, I continued baking, till I saw the body of the dead hamster, laying down in its cage.. without a head.

I felt like throwing up!

Later on, my mother told me that she was absolutely overwhelmed with 4 dogs and 2 puppies at home. She was going to sell Snowy, Sukkel, Jerry and Teddy. WELL, she refused this person and that person who wanted to take care of the pups and NOW SHE'S GOING TO SELL THEM????? She always campaigns that she hates people who cruelly abandons their pets. Even Jerry, one of the pups, was actually already given to Michael's friend, but my mother didn't allow him to take it back since she decided that he didn't really care for Jerry. True. But now selling Jerry?? Come on!

Pups and the other dogs are different case. We might not have too big bound with the pups for they're really little (cute) bastards, but Sukkel and Snowy were also sold, too!!! Snowy has been behaving bad lately, that's correct.. but she's been staying with us so long! And Sukkel... Like his name, which means stupid in Dutch (don't blame me, I didn't suggest that name), is stupid in real. Unlike Zwartje and Kabuki that understand what we say, Sukkel tends to ignore people's sayings in the house. But he's the sweetest heart after Zwartje! He always cleaned Zwartje's and Kabuki's eyes in the morning and he played with the pups (Teddy and Jerry) when the other dogs don't want to play with them. He's just a bit slow and fussy and not as handsome as Zwartje and Kabuki. But is it enough reason to ban him out?

My brother, sister and I were watching as Sukkel and Snowy were put into rice sacks with holes for them to breathe. Michael didn't say a word, all muscles in his face were tightened. Ita's look was horribly angry. And I.. went to the bathroom, poured myself with as much water as I could, and cried almost soundlessly. Just like the day when Buang, my first dog, was thrown away in the street by my parents for biting a neighbour.

Tell me.. why do people have pets when they don't want to take care of them? Why did my sister and her husband decide to have a baby if later they'd send her to her husband's parents instead of taking care of her themselves? Why do we have to create a great tight bound with a living thing when we cannot really share ourselves with them?

I don't understand.

I slept last night with wonders.. how are Snowy and Sukkel feeling right now? Are they hurt? Do they think we don't love them?

Coz I wouldn't want to be in their place.. Who would want to be dissed by people we love? :(