My First Kiss

Almost every girl living in this country longs for a sweet sweet first kiss from her sweet sweet boyfriend. Starting from trying to get a huge attention from the coolest boy in school, doing regular sport to stay fit, fresh and shaped, doing all homeworks well so that the boys could count on us when they didn't do them the night before, to acting shy to form ourselves a saint-like good girl. I had the same thing.

During junior high school, I was quite a nerd. I was proclaimed to be the best student for three years in a row, was forced to join the students' association I was not a bit interested in, had been the chief of the class for the whole three years, was sent to the seminars and stuff and was involved in every little school activity at that time. I didn't like it but in a positive way, it made me popular. Boys kept coming to my house and the phone rang for me everyday. My father was a strict person and I was the first daughter in the family. He did this embarassing thing of hushing away my male friends everytime they tried to contact me, mostly by telling them I wasn't home when they visited or called. So though being famous at school, I could not have a real boyfriend, except this boy named Inggouf of another school. Still, I could not categorise it as a relationship for it only lasted for a week. I didn't have my first kiss.

I changed my tactic when I was in the senior high school. I went to a quite popular public school in the area and met so many new people and boys. I didn't try any single time to be the best student in the lessons this time. Instead, I was the most cheerful and fun girl everyone liked to be with. More attentions were coming. Different from the junior high school time, the guys here were more mature and brave in getting my dad's permission to see/take me out. They would not give up just because of one single blow from my father telling them to get off. But then again, after so many dates and going-outs (most of them were not known by papa), I didn't feel like having one of them as my boyfriend, leading as well that I wouldn't want to kiss any of them at all. I believed that I should have it from the man I really did love for my first kiss was sacred. I stayed innocent.

My father died a few days after I graduated from high school. This time the real struggle began. You never know what real characteristics someone has before you had a financial trouble. My father left my family with 2 houses, one of which my mother sold, a car and some expensive musical instruments that were all sold as well not long after. My relatives came to my mother with crocodile smiles all over their faces, either hinting or saying explicitely that they also wanted a "part" of the money my father earned so hard during his life. I warned mommy not to give them anything, but she harshed me: "What do you know about life? You're only 18!"
Since then my mom quarrelled with me every night, my brother and sister did too. My ought-to-be friends left me for I had no time for fun outings anymore since I had to work after college till late at night, and the boy I loved during senior high school, Rio, didn't pay any attention to me either after we went to the different school. I was lonely.

Then came this really sweet boy of the engineering department at uni, offering me a sweet relationship. I took it. Ardyan was very sweet indeed.. he could wait for me for hours when we were supposed to meet in the weekends (I was teaching privately) and when I finally came home, I probably only had an hour chat with him and fell asleep the next two hours he was in my house! It took me the whole four months to realise that it was not working. Not when I was so busy with school and work. It was not fair both for him and me. So I broke it up and I still had not got my first kiss.

In the third year of university, all students should do their teaching practice at a real school of their choice. I chose the closest good Christian school from my house and started working as an internee there for 2 months.

I met this chemistry and biology lab teacher [name not provided] who looked at me pretty strangely. He was young and was in around his late twenties. I myself was 21. He often asked me to have lunch together, chat together and he called me almost every hour via the school intercom. The other internees were already suspecting something but I just didn't give them a chance to gossip.
His intention became more transparant when he someday half forced me to visit him in his lab to discuss a task I should do as an internee. Excuse me? I was working for the English subject here, why should I have to deal with a chemistry lab administrator? But hey.. it was my precious good grade I was worried of so I came to his office anyway.

Nobody was there but him. He asked me to sit.
After a few chit-chats about nothing -- that led me to learn that he was a very narrow-minded person -- he bowed a little toward me and asked: "Can I kiss you?"

What the...???

I said no. Directly. Briefly. And clearly.

He wasn't going to give up apparently so he was trying to convince me that it was just a normal action between two adult people who were blessed with pleasing hormones by God. *rolling eyes* "Yeah speak, hypocrite. And you said you went to church every Sunday?" I said in heart.

I kept saying no until we heard his phone rang. He moved to receive it and stood next to me while talking to another teacher in the other line. As soon as he hung up, very slowly and undetectably, he bended towards me and kissed me.

Shocked and wasn't very aware of what was going on, I pulled my head away of him and pushed his chest away from me. It didn't work. On the contrary, he pushed the back of my head closer to his face and kept kissing me passionately.

After a while he stopped and we broke off. "You shouldn't have done that," I said.

"But you liked it, right?" he smiled wryly.

He was not a bad kisser at all, but he was certainly not a gentleman enough to take a NO! I was pretty pissed off but didn't really know what to do. My supposed-to-be-very-very-sweet first kiss was taken by him, a NO ONE that I hardly knew!

"You stole my first kiss," I accused after a while.

"Hell you lied. You're 21 and it couldn't have been your first kiss! You are very attractive and I bet you had a long line of boyfriends in the past. You must have kissed them in the first place!"

Damn.. there I was... in his teritory, helpless and confused. My dream of kissing for the first time sweetly was totally ruined by a wrecked guy whom I barely knew, not even my boyfriend, and done in a stupid laboratory near a stupid fake human skeleton and chemical solutions! To make it worse, he didn't even believe it was my first kiss!

Fuck him.
Bless him.

Positively thinking, that jerk showed me that kissing was a nice thing to do, especially when you did it with someone you loved (this I found it later, huh).

Since then I've been addicted with it.


  1. Wow...that's sad.

    Of all the things someone could have the audacity to steal- some ignorant guy stole your first kiss! What a demon. I wish I could stealthily place a soft kiss behind your ear to make you feel better.

  2. wow! I never knew that u got ur first kiss when you're 21! Since that u've changed yaa... hehehe. Anyway, I got my first kiss when I was 18, and it was not that sweet either... I guess we are watching too many sappy romantic movies :p

  3. CosmicPal, your offer sounded intriguing yet heart-pounding. hehe.. thank you.. I wish you could.

    Coolz, so I was indeed very late for my first kiss. I was pretty idealist and not very compromising at that time, I have to admit. But there was nothing to regret, girl. I learnt SO very fast... maybe TOO fast afterwards. With my age at that time, I could already be responsible for the actions I did. And there was no doubt either.. which made it smooth. yeahh.. hihihi

  4. i think that it's never too late. it's just that nowadays young people rush going into relationsships and so they get the kiss earlier. but time goes on and usually those early age lovers just fade away. so it's better to wait and get the real taste of it later when the relationship can actually work.

  5. well, in this case i waited but it was taken shamelessly anyway by a no-one. i think if i could turn back the time, i'd rather have it with my ex'es.